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Speedy Gonzales was already the fastest mouse in Mexico when he became the first mouse reporter at the 1986 World Cup. With a tiny notebook tucked under his arm, he raced between stadiums, chased every rumor, and filed his stories before the other reporters found their seats. He could get a quote from anyone and disappear before they thought to ask who sent him. Speedy is this reporter’s hero and inspiration. 

Coochie Monsters: A Family Recipe

Some teams arrive with a new roster and a fresh set of jerseys. The Coochie Monsters have been around long enough to recognize half the league before the first game starts. Captain Meg, who has earned most beloved female a record amount of times, leads a group with years of TSL history, including familiar faces from PWI and the Untouchaballs.

Greg, Cookie, Helm, Ryan, Derek and Robert Lee are among the old timers. They have played together, played against each other, and probably heard every joke the league has to offer. The Coochie Monsters their alternate quarterbacks, which gives opposing defenses a different look depending on who takes the snap. They have been seen changing quarterbacks in the middle of a drive. 

Nina and Meg are joined by various wives of the team, making this roster feel as much like a gathering of people who know one another as a football team. That kind of familiarity takes years to build. It also means nobody gets away with claiming they were open when everyone saw the play.

The Coochie Monsters have changed names and teammates along the way, but this group keeps finding its way back to the field. There’s always room for one more season and, if Cookie has any say in it, one more cookie.

PWI: Buddy Lee’s Work in Progress

The Mouse has been following PWI’s messy trail for years. It starts in D5, where they won a championship, then leads through titles in D4 and D3. After they won D3, they disbanded or “Rebranded like Sierra Mist.” Now they’re back in D2 with their familiar name. That is a lot of ground covered for a team whose captain, Jamie McCabe, admits his main duty is paying the bill.

The roster has changed during that climb. Colorado Mike and Addison were part of the story along the way, while Steve and Touchdown Tori are still there from the original group. Now Jake Dunn, Quentin, Zach W, Miles, Nicest Girl in the League “Raena O'Neill”, and plenty more fill out a team Buddy keeps tinkering with. He adds a piece here, tries a piece there, and keeps chasing his vision of the ultimate D2 team.

There is one empty can on their record this year: Bullet Club. This cheese loving reporter (and anyone with access to Youtube) reviewed the play that did the most damage. Kelsey Harrigan threw the pass. Jordan Lawson went up for it. Quentin and Buddy were both there, and Jordan came down with the ball anyway. Around the league, the official description is that they got Moused… sorry.. mossed.

One loss has not stopped Buddy from working on the roster. Given PWI’s history, he may already be figuring out which piece to move next.

Select: From Carpet to Competition

Select started in 2018 in the dismal world of Miles Sports, where the turf was carpet and the organization was not Gouda. They eventually found their way to the TSL716, bouncing between D5, D4, and D3. After playing football on carpet, a little movement in the standings probably felt manageable.

Mark, longtime captain, also makes the TSL highlight videos. Everyone loves them except the refs, who keep discovering their calls have been preserved in high definition. Derek Pew is Select’s current quarterback, with Sin, Mark, Matt Tirado, and plenty more on the roster.

Their newest rival is TMA. Select didn’t offer a dramatic warning or promise to settle things on the field. They did, however, want everyone to know they’re a friendly team and always down to chat. The Mouse can confirm they’re much easier to interview than most cats.

Friendly or not, Select has been around long enough to know that rivalries make for good games and, if Mark has his camera ready, good highlights.

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