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The Fat Cats of the TSL Media Corporation are trying to trap the Mouse. They want him writing propaganda. Their propaganda. Stories that fit their narrative, keep the Clowder satiated, and keep everyone from asking too many questions. Don’t think. Don’t dig. Don’t sharpen your claws. Just eat the cheese they put in front of you and move along.

This Mouse refuses to be bought with cheese from the cottage.

While the Fat Cats sit comfortably in their lawn chairs, deciding which stories you’re allowed to hear, the Mouse is still scurrying around the field and listening to conversations that were never meant to reach the public.

The truth may stink, but that doesn’t make it Limburger.

Team Name: Bullet Club

Bullet Club came into existence in 2015, emerged from the mouse hole of Sweet and Sour Inc. when a handful of players decided it was time to scurry and start something new. More than a decade later, most of those original names have scattered across the TSL universe. Jeff Easton can now be found quarterbacking Pit Harade, Jess McAndrew suited up for Birds of War last season, and near-original Chad Griffin has resurfaced down in D6. Through all the roster changes, Joe K remains the last man standing, a survivor of every version of the team that has existed since 2015.

The highest point came in Spring 2018, when Bullet Club climbed to the top of D3 and walked away as champions. Getting back to those heights, however, has been anything but a straight line. The years between the original Bullet Club and the version roaming the fields today included QB problems, attendance problems, and former players who couldn't fully commit to the team. Then there were the many many playoff heartbreaks, the games where one play, one bounce, or one bad ref caused the season to be over. And, of course, there was the day they signed John Langley. Rock bottom comes in many forms.

The Quarterback lineage reads like an ACME magazine, Jeff Easton, Scotty Drosendahl, Travis Cleavenger Bernal, John Langley, Dylan Jaloza, and Jordan Lawson have all taken their turns setting the trap, with Easton even returning for multiple tours of duty. Through all those different eras, Bullet Club has also been fortunate enough to have some consistency and some kind personalities on the female side. Steph Czaja and the newly married, but injured Ashley DeVantier have seemingly been around forever. Kelsey Harrigan joined a few seasons ago and quickly became a superstar. Haley Kirstis was the newest addition last season and she's already looking like Bullet Club found another keeper.

They enjoy playing against Practice Squad, Sticky Nation, and any Keller Team, but the upgrade to D2 felt like a start of a new era as they no longer play familiar opponents and now play against 4 really good teams, and Let’s Get Reccked. Any team can win D2. Bullet Clubs knows they are lucky to start so hot in D2, but could just as easily be 0-4. They know they can never take a week off or could lose. It’s been a great experience for BC.

Team Name: Flying Balls

Some teams give Mickey a decade of history to dig through. This team is a little different. Founded in Fall 2025 by captain Dan Diehl, they are still relatively new to the TSL. They started their journey in D6, but did not stay there very long. After putting together a strong group and proving they belonged, they made the jump to D4 which is a pretty significant climb.

At quarterback, they have Matt Glowacki. The previous quarterback to the now defunct “Unit Ha Ha.” At backup quarterback is Jonah Seler who loves to run the offense. Both QB’s a new collection of weapons around them, and there does not appear to be one glaring weakness to point toward. They are simply a good group of guys who came together, love football, and have figured out how to play well with one another. Sometimes the recipe really is that simple.

The philosophy around the team can probably be summed up in two words: everyone eats. There is not one player demanding all the touches. They spread the ball around, find the open player, and let everybody contribute. Injuries have caused some problems along the way, but when the whole group is together, they have shown exactly why a team they should be competing in D4.

The Mouse also went searching for a bitter rival and came back empty handed. Apparently they have not been around long enough to truly hate anybody yet. Give it time. 

Team Name: Blue Ballers

Blue Ballers have only been around for about three years, but the team has already lived a couple of different lives. Before the Blue they were Purple. As in the  Purple Nurples, who lasted for two years before their evolution. Captained by PJ Maiarana and quarterbacked by Phil M, the pair have led the Blue to a pair of championships in D6 and D5. Not bad for a team whose roster sometimes feels like it was assembled at the bar five minutes before kickoff.

Their first taste of glory came in Fall, when they captured the D6 championship against the Chargers. The path through the walls was not always pretty. Their first season featured one of their lowest moments when they found themselves playing shorthanded and without a quarterback. After looking at the crumbs, they said to do one thing “blame Owen.” Fortunately, things have improved since then, and somewhere along the way this group went from trying to find enough people to play to collecting trophies.

Perhaps the best example of what Blue Ballers can do came against the Irish Giants. They found themselves staring at a 30 point deficit, the type of hole that usually has teams thinking of never playing again. Instead, this team squeaked back. 

This season, they have to survive without QB Phil for five weeks. The official explanation provided was that he has “kids,” the word all captains hate to hear. Whether they can keep things together until their quarterback returns remains to be seen, but history suggests chaos does not bother this group very much. 

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