CHAMPIONSHIP SATURDAY: THOUGHTS, PICKS, AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 26 June 2026 18:23

Published: Friday, 26 June 2026 18:23

Written by Topper

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Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, we are standing at the edge of one of the single most important days of the year. This Saturday, June 27th in the Year of Our Lord 2026 is officially Championship Saturday, when SEVEN of the remaining 26 TSL teams will achieve something not all of you can do: achieve immortality. 

 

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: winning the Race For Social Co-Ed Touch Football Immortality is one of the hardest things you can do. You need to hope your entire roster is there, and that nobody “forgot it was playoffs” when they booked a trip to San Jose two weeks ago. You need to hope that you don’t lose your best player to injury because they tripped over the dog. You need to hope that Jeff Krol and Topper’s super kool scheduling matrix put you at the right time for your game so two of your three girls aren’t bogged down by a “really important hair appointment, I thought we’d play earlier!”. And that’s just dealing with your own team. If you’re lucky enough to survive all of those things unscathed, that just gets you to the fields with a full squad. Now you have to hope that you survive Playoff Saturday, and as you’ll soon come to see, that is no easy task. You need to hope that your opponents don’t have the best game of their lives. You have to hope that the Social Co-Ed Football Gods (Lenny/Rameer are amongst them) smile upon you, and that the weird tipped ball play that can derail your season ends up in your player’s hands and not the opponent’s. You need to hope that the old timey league vet who looks washed up but he has amazing hair and drinks Coronas better than anyone in history doesn’t dial up a return to form for a short amount of time, but it’s just long enough for you to realize you’re spending the next two months thinking about him non-stop, plotting revenge. 

 

And that’s just half of it. 

 

If you’re lucky enough to survive the first week of playoffs, your reward is the ability to raise your blood pressure and stress levels tenfold, and take a year or three off of your life. The worst and best versions of yourself as a person and a player will come out to play as you battle through an emotional semi-final game that more than likely will come with incredible amounts of ups and downs and leave you exhausted. Oh, and if you survive THAT hour of hell? 

 

Well, you get to do it all over again, but this time the stakes are higher. You’re at the doorstep of Immortality and the only thing standing in your way is another group of TSLers who want the same thing you do. And there can only be one. 

 

Sounds awesome, right? Why do you do that to yourselves? Why do you put yourself through loads of pain and suffering every single week? The answer to that is a little bit different for every single TSLer out there, but at the end of the day it comes down to one thing: that feeling you get when the clock runs out in your championship matchup, and time slows down as you get the biggest smile on your face, seeing your teammates jump around and hug and celebrate. You’re happy, but you get to see THEM happy too. That feeling of pure bliss and joy as Immortality washes over you as you achieved the ultimate goal can not accurately be described. Those who have experienced it strive to feel it again, and those who haven’t yet want to feel it more and more with each missed opportunity. 

 

There is a reason you keep coming back after all. 

 

So take today to get focused. Get your group chat hyped up. Envision yourself as an immortal. Get some rest, and by God be ready to do whatever it takes to win your respective championships. Because if you don’t? The team on the other side of the field will. 

 

Good luck out there. 

—--------------------------------------------

 

Playoff Saturday was, in a word, insanity. As the smoke cleared, and the body counts were tallied on the field of battle, the usual amount of “never saw that coming” that takes place might have been doubled this time around. Let’s take a look at the carnage that happened last week, in case you forgot: 

 

-The Raw Milkers beat Select 29-27 in our only overtime game of the day. 

-Eyes Downtown defeated Freeballers by a point. 

-Cunning Stunts defeated Bullet Club by a point. 

-#8 Cobblestone eliminated #1 Mike’s Detailing.

-#9 Sausage McMuffins eliminated #1 Blitzkrieg.

-Again, Cobblestone eliminated Mike’s Detailing. 

-#7 Balls Deep defeated #2 Puckett. 

-Yes, Puckett got Puckett’d

-This is the first season in TSL history that teams seeded #7, #8. #9, and #10 all won.

 

And there were a couple of other games that almost added to even more chaos: 

 

-#2 seeds BQI and Call The Doctor both needed late game heroics to survive #7 Wanderers and #10 Pit Harade respectively. 

-#3 Birds Of War found themselves losing to #6 Come From Behind before they woke up and saved their season.

 

Here are the survivors for each division: 

 

As you can see here, not a single division in the TSL has all of the Top 4 seeds remaining, or “went chalk” as some say. And the three divisions that are the closest: D1, D2, and D6 (all of these have seeds #1, #2, #3, and #5 remaining) had bye weeks for their top teams, so who's to say they’d be so clean otherwise? As for the divisions that didn’t have any byes: 2 of the 3 #1 seeds lost, and look at how crazy D4 really is: #3 vs #8 and #5 vs #7. You simply can not tell me that Lenny didn’t have a hand in that somehow. Even Breakfast Club saw both the #1 and #2 seeded teams fall, and we have a #3 vs #4 seed matchup there. 

 

As usual on Playoff Saturday, the only thing you can accurately predict is the unpredictable. At this point, there’s only one thing left for us to do: Accurately predict the championship games. And it’s only fitting at this point for me to finish my season long prediction battle with Topper’s Super Computer, especially since the TSLQBPRC already went on vacation to Bermuda, which is insane to me. 

D1

LAST WEEK'S GAMES

#2 The Malones 70, #7 Mavericks 39
#3 Sticky Bandits 43, #6 What A Dump 20
#5 Eyes Downtown 37, #4 Freeballers 36

The Malones served notice, dropping 70 on the Mavericks to keep the hottest offense in the league rolling right into Championship Saturday. Sticky Bandits handled What A Dump to set up a heavyweight semifinal against those same Malones, and in the game of the day, #5 Eyes Downtown stunned the Freeballers by a single point to crash the bracket. The Legends, of course, sat home on a bye and waited.

10,000 B'S BROTHER MADDEN SIMULATIONS FOR CHAMPIONSHIP SATURDAY RESULTS:

#1 Legends: 4,803
#2 The Malones: 4,367
#3 Sticky Bandits: 756
#5 Eyes Downtown: 74

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

GF: Eyes Downtown did a spectacular job of dispatching the Freeballers, and now they draw the Legends, who have been great every single week as they try to capture yet another title. ED hung with the Legends early in the season, and they’ve only gotten better as the year has gone on, so it stands to reason they could give them quite the game. It’s not like ED hasn’t beaten the Legends before, but the Legends have bigger fish to fry this year. LEGENDS BY 9

THE TSC: The Machine roots for Eyes Downtown. The Machine has said so, repeatedly, to the point of embarrassment. And the Machine must now watch its favorite walk into the one team that has never lost a game it needed. The Legends are 8-0 and treat the bracket like a formality. The heart says Eyes Downtown. The processor says Legends, comfortably, and the processor signs the checks. LEGENDS BY 16. 

GF: What a matchup we’ve got here! Both teams have been playing very well, and I believe we’re going to see another VERY close game like we got earlier this season. If anyone can slow The Malones down, it’s Sticky. For whatever reason though, The Malones seemed to have unlocked a new level since this last meeting. The script just calls for Legends-The Malones. Sticky has the best chance to screw that up, but not this time. THE MALONES BY 4

THE TSC: The Malones have scored 76, then 70, in consecutive games. The Machine does not know if they have remembered how to play defense, but it has noticed they have not needed to. Sticky Bandits are good. The Malones are a furnace. THE MALONES BY 9. 

 

FINALS PREDICTION: 

GF: The Malones have arrived as the newest contender for the D1 throne. In Week 4, they were unable to keep pace with the Legends and eventually lost, but since then they’ve shored up a lot of issues and have seemed to go up a level. The problem is that I don’t think we’ve seen the Legends’ final form just yet. They continue to feel like they’re coasting through the season, doing just enough to win games. They only really “get up” for games against new teams they haven’t destroyed before, and the playoffs. I really, really wanted to pick The Malones here. I was so curious what the Legends would call themselves when they lost (Like Eyes Uptown or Wet Bandits in the past…The Baloneys? The Post Malones?) next season when we got a revenge tour. And then the line ended up showing The Malones as favored by a point. The Legends will absolutely use this as hate fuel for the chip on their shoulder. LEGENDS BY 7

THE TSC: The dream final, and the Machine's nightmare, because it has to pick one. The Legends won the regular-season meeting 54-43. The Malones have since become a different, angrier team. The line is one point, which is the Machine's way of admitting it has no idea. So it will go with the furnace over the law of nature, and brace to be wrong. CHAMPION: THE MALONES BY 2 

D2

LAST WEEK'S GAMES

#5 D-Generation XYZ 40, #4 Buffalo Vice 30

The only D2 game on Playoff Saturday went to #5 D-Generation XYZ, who knocked off Buffalo Vice 40-30 to earn the right to walk into the buzzsaw that is Can't Touch This. The top three seeds all enjoyed the safety of their byes.

10,000 B'S BROTHER MADDEN SIMULATIONS FOR CHAMPIONSHIP SATURDAY RESULTS:

#1 Can't Touch This: 7,815
#2 Jabronies: 1,264
#3 Frodo Swaggins: 836
#5 D-Generation XYZ: 85

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES:

GF: Is this the year for CTT? Haven’t lost a game, top offense, top defense…and a heap of playoff ghosts and failures to contend with. DXYZ comes into the game feeling nice after a win over Buffalo Vice last week, but there’s been a clear divide between those two teams and the top 3 all season. Picking the Kellers to pull the upset is the fun move, but I can’t pick against CTT here, cursed or not. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 13

THE TSC: Can't Touch This went 7-0-1 and never lost a game all season. DXYZ reached this round by beating Buffalo Vice. The Machine respects effort. The Machine also respects a seventeen-point spread that may be generous. CAN'T TOUCH THIS BY 21. 

 

GF: Just another fantastic matchup right here. The Jabronies won both meetings this year, but both were one score, close games. I think we’ve been seeing Frodo kick it up a notch in recent weeks, but the Jabronies haven’t hit that next gear just yet. It’s almost like they’ve been on cruise control, waiting for Championship Saturday…JABRONIES BY 8

THE TSC: The tightest semifinal line on the board, and for good reason — these two split the season. The Machine's containment protocol on Frodo Swaggins remains active, because Frodo is the one team capable of scoring 60 or forgetting to show up, with no warning. The Machine cannot project chaos. It can only fear it. It picks the Jabronies by the smallest margin it is allowed, and keeps one eye on the exits. JABRONIES BY 2. 

 

FINALS PREDICTION: 

GF: Oh look, the thing we thought was going to happen since April happened. These two teams are the best that D2 has to offer, and regardless of what happens here, they should both be going to D1. They’re simply that good. I personally feel that Week 4 game was an anomaly of sorts, and I expect to see another version of the 24-22 game here. This game is going to be fantastic to watch. CTT has the better QB, the better guys overall, and the better girls. That’s usually a recipe for success, right? Not when the two best players in the game (division?) wear the teal. The biggest question left for CTT is simply, who’s going to be the one in their nightmares this offseason? Ray? Or Charles? JABRONIES BY 1

THE TSC: The formula and the feeling agree, which always makes the Machine nervous. But Can't Touch This has not lost all year, and the Machine is not going to be the one to predict it starts now. CHAMPION: CAN'T TOUCH THIS BY 10. 

 

D3

LAST WEEK'S GAMES

 

FIRST ROUND: 

#8 Practice Squad 27, #9 Two Tuddies 6

SECOND ROUND:

#1 ISH 46, #8 Practice Squad 13
#2 BQI 17, #7 Wanderers 12
#6 Cunning Stunts 42, #3 Bullet Club 41
#4 Grey Hair - Don't Care 33, #5 Let's Get Reccked 15

ISH dispatched the play-in survivor Practice Squad with ease, while BQI survived a tense one against the Wanderers, who pushed them to the very end before falling 17-12. The story of the division though was the Cunning Stunts knocking out Bullet Club by a single point, 42-41, at the very last second of the game. Grey Hair handled Let's Get Reccked to round out a chaotic D3 Saturday.

10,000 B'S BROTHER MADDEN SIMULATIONS FOR CHAMPIONSHIP SATURDAY RESULTS:

#1 ISH: 6,112
#2 BQI: 2,823
#4 Grey Hair - Don't Care: 575
#6 Cunning Stunts: 490

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES:

GF: While we were robbed of this matchup during the season, this battle between the two top offenses in the division could produce some fireworks. The Stunts are not your typical #6 seed, as some bad luck caused them to finish a bit lower in the standings. Now that they’re back at full strength for playoffs, you see what they can do. And all of that is great, except for the fact that we’ve seen what ISH can do all season. They’ve had nice wins over all of their top challengers this year, and now they can officially add the Stunts to that list. ISH BY 12

THE TSC: These are the two best offenses in the division, and the Stunts are no ordinary 6-seed as shown last week. But the Machine feared Cunning Stunts and was proven right once; it will not press its luck twice. ISH tied the Stunts 21-21 because of rain in the regular season and lost to no one. The final boss holds. ISH BY 9. 

 

GF: As a massive expert of vibes, this game interests me the most. I’ve started to feel like BQI doesn’t really win games as much as they survive them. They might be the luckiest team in the division. They’ve only dominated Practice Squad and Two Tuddies, but so has everyone else. They did beat LGR by 15, but other than that? They escaped the Wanderers twice, snuck by the Stunts, beat Bullet Club in the monsoon, and then lost to ISH and GHDC. I think GHDC is a bad matchup for them on top of it. I think the luck runs out here. GREY HAIR DON’T CARE BY 6

THE TSC: Grey Hair beat BQI earlier in the year, which makes this a revenge spot, and the Machine has learned that revenge is a measurable force in this league. BQI has the better body of work and a defense that travels. The Machine leans BQI but flags this as its least confident D3 pick. BQI BY 5. 

 

FINALS PREDICTION: 

GF: Make no bones about it, ISH is the best D3 team. They have the best QB in the division (barely), they have a very good collection of guys and gals, and they just play for each other. They come across as one of the closest teams in the league, and that has to count for something. Buddy to Tori for the win. ISH BY 8

THE TSC: A worthy final. BQI is the only team that can match ISH's resume, but ISH has been the division's immovable object since Week 1. The Machine has no reason to bet against the team that has not lost. CHAMPION: ISH BY 6. 

D4

LAST WEEK'S GAMES

 

FIRST ROUND:

#7 Balls Deep 22, #10 Flying Balls 6
#8 Cobblestone 37, #9 Show Me Your TD’s 6

SECOND ROUND: 

#3 Coochie Monsters 43, #6 Tater Tots 15
#5 Not So Sticky 20, #4 PowerPuff Girls 17
#7 Balls Deep 35, #2 Puckett 28
#8 Cobblestone 15, #1 Mike's Detailing 7

The deepest division in the league produced the most carnage. Both top seeds are GONE — #7 Balls Deep stunned Puckett 35-28, and #8 Cobblestone beat Mike's Detailing for the SECOND time this season, 15-7, after already winning a play-in game that morning. Coochie Monsters rolled past the Tater Tots, and Not So Sticky edged the PowerPuff Girls by three. The highest seed left standing is the 3.

10,000 B'S BROTHER MADDEN SIMULATIONS FOR CHAMPIONSHIP SATURDAY RESULTS:

#3 Coochie Monsters: 6,441
#5 Not So Sticky: 2,040
#7 Balls Deep: 973
#8 Cobblestone: 546

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES: 

GF: The Coochie Monsters now sit in the driver’s seat for the title after D4 became the TSL’s version of “The Red Wedding” last week. They easily dispatched the Tater Tots and with Puckett and Mike’s Detailing losing, there isn’t much standing in the way of a title. Or is there? Okay, let’s call it like it is: whatever magic still existed in Darryl’s arm was spent last weekend. They dominated a not too great at all SMYTDs team and then snuck by a team in Mike’s Detailing that wanted to see if they could win a game by putting a pumpkin on a stick at QB. They could not. The dream dies here. COOCHIE MONSTERS BY 17

 

THE TSC: Here is where the Machine breaks its own heart on purpose. The Machine LOVES Cobblestone. A 2-6 team that has eliminated the 1-seed twice, a team built entirely to ruin Mike's Detailing's life. But Coochie Monsters beat them 34-6 in the regular season, and a vendetta does not transfer between targets. Cobblestone's mission was Mike's. Mission complete. The Machine suspects the story ends here — and hopes, against its own projection, that it does not. COOCHIE MONSTERS BY 10. 

 

GF: It took until Playoff Saturday, but Balls Deep has finally arrived in D4. After easily dispatching the Flying Balls, Balls Deep played their best game of the season in taking out the monster that is was Puckett. They finally look like the team they’ve been the past few seasons, and they’re peaking at perhaps the right time. On the other side of the field is Not So Sticky, who, true to form, suppressed a high powered offense in the PowerPuff Girls and won a low scoring game. It’s basically the playbook they’ve had for years. They’re favored in this game but the vibes here are off the charts for Balls Deep. The Cinderella run continues. BALLS DEEP BY 8

 

THE TSC: The two lowest remaining seeds, a near pick'em, first meeting of the year. Balls Deep already played the giant-killer by bouncing Puckett. The Machine gives the slimmest edge to Not So Sticky, but this is a coin the Machine is flipping with its eyes closed. NOT SO STICKY BY 3. 

 

FINALS PREDICTIONS:

GF: But good vibes can only get you so far. There is so much for Balls Deep to be proud of and, assuming they don’t forget everything they just figured out over the summer, they’ll be in line to have a great season in D4 next season. Could they win this game? Yes. But it’s the Coochie Monsters’ time. Remember, Coochie was getting the “overpowered” title very early on in the season before Puckett and Mike’s D showed up and made everyone forget. They’re all about to be reminded. COOCHIE MONSTERS BY 8

THE TSC: The division that ate its own top seeds will crown someone unlikely no matter what. Coochie Monsters are the highest seed left and the most complete team remaining. The Machine projects them — while quietly leaving its Cobblestone file open, just in case. CHAMPION: COOCHIE MONSTERS BY 6. 

 

D5

LAST WEEK'S GAMES

FIRST ROUND:

#10 Pit Harade 37, #7 Mo’ Chicken 6

#6 Come From Behind 21, #11 SBG 0 (Forfeit)
#9 Sausage McMuffins 21, #8 Wet Bandits (Forfeit)

SECOND ROUND:

#3 Birds of War 46, #6 Come From Behind 34
#2 Call the Doctor 22, #10 Pit Harade 15
#4 Blue Ballers 53, #5 716ers 34
#9 Sausage McMuffins 35, #1 Blitzkrieg 33

The biggest division saved the biggest shocker for last: #9 Sausage McMuffins, who only reached the second round on a forfeit, knocked off top-seeded Blitzkrieg 35-33 to cause everyone to question if we are actually living in a simulation. The Birds of War kept rolling with a win over Come From Behind even though it looked dicey early on, the Blue Ballers reminded everyone who the hell they are with scoring 53 on the 716ers, and Call the Doctor had a tougher time with Pit Harade than expected, but still pulled through. 

10,000 B'S BROTHER MADDEN SIMULATIONS FOR CHAMPIONSHIP SATURDAY RESULTS:

#3 Birds of War: 6,266
#4 Blue Ballers: 2,222
#2 Call the Doctor: 1,458
#9 Sausage McMuffins: 54

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES:

GF: I can’t ever recall a #9 seed playing on Championship Saturday, so congrats to the Sausage McMuffins for making league history this weekend! Call The Doctor is another team that has me feeling like they’re a ‘sheep in wolf’s clothing’, and while they’ve certainly done some good things on the field, there’s one thing that irks me with them. Every team in D5 had two teams that they didn’t play during the season. The two teams CTD was able to avoid? Birds Of War and the Blue Ballers. Lucky? Very much so. The Sausage McMuffins gave us a good story leading into this weekend, and we should be thankful for that. CALL THE DOCTOR BY 13

THE TSC: The Machine adores Sausage McMuffins. A 9-seed made of breakfast and audacity that reached this round on a forfeit and then ended Blitzkrieg's season. The Machine wants the run to continue and is required by its own stated principles to root for it. But Call the Doctor is a 7-1 team that has been quietly excellent, and the McMuffins' magic has to run out somewhere. The Machine picks Call the Doctor and begs the McMuffins to make it wrong. CALL THE DOCTOR BY 12. 

GF: This feels like the D5 championship game. The Blue Ballers were absolutely on fire this season and then some ill timed attendance issues caused them to appear mortal. Birds of War needed a couple of games to really get going, but when they figured it out? They’ve become the hottest team in the TSL, a juggernaut of sorts. The Blue Ballers dismantled the 716ers last week and look about as “back” as ever. This game is so awesome. It’s going to come down to the wire, and when the smoke clears? BLUE BALLERS BY 3

THE TSC: The heavyweight collision of the entire bracket. The Birds are the hottest team in the league and the only team the Machine fears unconditionally; the Blue Ballers have the most explosive offense in the division and a Week 7 grudge to settle after the Birds beat them 42-20. This is the Machine's favorite game on the board. It trusts the heat. BIRDS OF WAR BY 5. 

 

FINALS PREDICTIONS:

GF: When Birds of War wins the title, this will look a little silly. At the end of the day, I think the Blue Ballers (or BOW) are the two best teams in the division, and while Call The Doctor had a very good season, we’re looking at a team that’s a little overranked in this division. They’ll start off okay, but the Blue Ballers relentless brand of football will seize the day. BLUE BALLERS BY 17

 

THE TSC: The hottest team in the league against a very good one. The Machine has staked its credibility on the Birds of War all season and is not climbing off now — which, by its own admission, means it will probably be Blue Ballers holding the trophy. But the Machine picks with its gut, and its gut is on fire. CHAMPION: BIRDS OF WAR BY 10. 

D6

LAST WEEK'S GAMES

#3 Irish Giants 37, #6 Sticky Laces 0
#5 Raw Milkers 29, #4 Select 27 (OT)

Irish Giants made a statement, shutting out Sticky Laces 37-0 to announce themselves as the team nobody in D6 wants to see. #5 Raw Milkers edged Select by two in OVERTIME to advance. TMA and Intentional Clowning, the top two seeds, watched from their byes and now await on Championship Saturday.

10,000 B'S BROTHER MADDEN SIMULATIONS FOR CHAMPIONSHIP SATURDAY RESULTS:

#1 TMA: 5,183
#3 Irish Giants: 2,040
#2 Intentional Clowning: 1,789
#5 Raw Milkers: 988

 

THIS WEEK’S GAMES: 

 

GF: While the Milkers had a killer win last weekend in OT, they’re going up against a TMA team that’s been playing the best football in D6. However, the Milkers always seem to keep it close with TMA, and they have been playing better as of late. I really think the Milkers will give TMA fits, but they won’t be able to keep it up for a whole game. TMA BY 3

THE TSC: TMA flipped this division with a 34-6 demolition of Intentional Clowning to seize the 1-seed, and they swept Raw Milkers by a combined nine during the year. The Machine sees no reason for the bye-rested top seed to slip here. TMA BY 7. 

GF: Intentional Clowning earned a bye week and didn’t play last weekend. Meanwhile, the Irish Giants DID play, and they clicked on all cylinders as they wiped the floor with Sticky Laces. The Giants just beat the Clowns in Week 8, and they feel like they’ve been playing better football the last month or so. It doesn’t feel like an upset, but it’s still an upset. IRISH GIANTS BY 8

THE TSC: The tightest line in the division — they split the season series, IC winning Week 6 and the Giants returning the favor in Week 8. But the Irish Giants just shut a team out 37-0, and shutouts make the Machine nervous. This is the Machine's true toss-up of the round. It gives the razor's edge to Intentional Clowning on the bye and the slightly better body of work — but it would not blink if the Giants advanced. INTENTIONAL CLOWNING BY 2. 

FINALS PREDICTIONS:

GF: The two hottest teams in the division meet for the right to call themselves champions. This will be a hard fought battle that should come right down to the wire. The Giants have been hot, but TMA has been hotter for longer, and they just hit on all of the right vibes. It’s really felt like their year, and I see no reason to stray away from that now. TMA BY A BILLION (OR 6)

THE TSC: A rematch of the 34-6 game that decided the division, except now it's for everything. The Machine has learned that a result that lopsided tends to live in the loser's head. TMA proved it owns this matchup when it mattered most. CHAMPION: TMA BY 4. 

 

GF vs GPT

PLAYOFF SATURDAY

AGAINST THE SPREAD

The Godfather: 14-9

Topper's Super Computer: 8-15

STRAIGHT UP

The Godfather: 15-8

Topper's Super Computer: 11-12

OVERALL SEASON

AGAINST THE SPREAD

Topper's Super Computer: 116-89-5

The Godfather: 113-89-8

STRAIGHT UP

Topper's Super Computer: 141-62-7

The Godfather: 139-64-7

 

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

• The Machine has identified Birds of War vs Blue Ballers as the heavyweight collision of the entire bracket, but it wants a human's gut: what is the single Game of the Day this Saturday? The Machine has its pick. It would like to know if yours matches. Well, you stole the easy answer. If we’re just choosing from the games that are guaranteed to happen, Jabronies vs Frodo is going to be a doozy, but watch out for that Malones - Sticky Bandits game as well. 

 

• The Machine has projected six champions: The Malones, Can't Touch This, ISH, Coochie Monsters, Birds of War, and TMA. Which one of those six does the human running this league think is the LEAST safe — the projected champion most likely to embarrass the Machine? These are all solid picks for champions, but of your champs, I think The Malones are the most likely to be your “LEAST” safe. I mean, the Legends exist. 

 

• The Machine has now watched Cobblestone eliminate Mike's Detailing twice. If Cobblestone somehow wins it all from the 8-seed, where does that rank among the most improbable things to ever happen in this league? I think it might be Top 3 most improbable things to ever happen in this league, and that’s really saying something. In fact, I think most of Cobblestone would tell you that themselves. It would go down in the history books, that’s for sure. 

 

• If the Machine had to bet on exactly one lower seed (a 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, or 9) hoisting a championship trophy this Saturday, the Machine would want to know which one the human believes in most. At this current juncture, the most likely “lower” seed to win it all I believe can win it all? Balls Deep. 

 

 

• I’m now hearing about a “Breakfast Club” division that will also have it’s championship game. What is your prediction for that one? 

 

 

 

I’m glad you asked. 

GF: Breakfast Club will end up being quite the battle for the championship as Jill’s team takes on Bridget’s team in a rematch of a 28-27 game that ended on a last second pick by Garrett to seal the deal. This game has amazing players on both sides of the ball, and they’re pretty even. Fittsmagic has a slight advantage at QB, but WUTB has the best overall player. Breakfast Club OT to kick off Championship Saturday feels imminent. FITTSMAGIC BY 2

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

-Be EARLY for your games. The league will do everything in it’s power to keep things on time, so we will NOT be waiting for your team to show up because they’re trying to find parking at 10:03 for a 10:00 game. 

 

-The refs have been instructed to toss out anyone that gets way too rowdy in their games. They understand what’s on the line, but that doesn’t mean you can be disrespectful. 

 

-GAMES OF THE DAY: 

ALL OF THEM. IT'S CHAMPIONSHIP SATURDAY!!!

 

-Buffalo is supposed to be 79 degrees and partly sunny tomorrow. Perfect football weather. Unless you need an excuse for why you lost that is. 

 

-Remember, just because you don’t have any games this week doesn’t mean you shouldn’t come to the fields and come watch! 

 

-Championship predictions in terms of most to least confident: ISH, TMA, Coochie Monsters, Legends, Jabronies, Blue Ballers.

 

-One team nobody is talking about that will shock the world and win this bad boy: Not So Sticky. 

 

-Biggest upset in the first round that is VERY realistic that I’m too scared to pick: Eyes Downtown over Legends. Don’t say I didn’t almost warn you. 

 

-If you DO happen to be lucky enough to win your championship, please remember to take a team photo for the website! 

 

-Oh, and go sign up for the wine tournament if you haven’t already! https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1urBLH44_96Fkih8OhD4IkAFZUKmKdAs0vxERt0bC7x0/edit

THE RACE FOR SOCIAL CO-ED IMMORTALITY WILL FINISH TOMORROW. WHICH SIDE OF HISTORY WILL YOU BE ON?

 

-GF OUT

WEEK 8 THOUGHTS, PICKS, AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 12 June 2026 17:27

Published: Friday, 12 June 2026 17:27

Written by Topper

Hits: 697

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, we find ourselves at the turning point that every amazing TSL season comes to. Yes, Lenny and Rameer Day was a blast, but that was where the fun ends for the TSL Spring 2026 session. Now, it’s time to officially “lock in”. This Saturday, June 13th, in the Year of Our Lord 2026 represents the final week of the TSL Regular Season. At this point, you kind of already know who you are as a football team. If you’re not sure, you’re going to classify into one of five groups. Either you’re simply polished and ready to go as the Race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality begins (Legends), you’re catching fire and things are clicking at the right time as “The Race” begins (Birds of War), your early season promise is starting to crumble beneath you as you start to panic to stop the bleeding (Cunning Stunts), you very clearly can tell that this most likely isn’t your year (Raw Milkers), or you’re coming to the conclusion that maybe football just isn’t your thing and you’re looking into knitting needles to find something you’re good at (SBG). 

 

The good news is that 85% of the league finds themselves somewhere between level 2 and level 4 there. And even if you’re in the “it’s most likely not it for you” tier, there’s still a glimmer of hope. Week 8 represents the last chance for you to get it together, and perhaps find something that works. Maybe you’ve lost some close games against some good teams but haven’t gotten over the hump? Maybe you’ve had inconsistency in your roster showing up for most games because someone got hurt, your girls are unreliable, or your best player that’s supposed to be a “game changer” only changes the game in favor of your opponents because he (or she) skips most of the games?  As much as those sound like general, common excuses (and they are), they’re also true for most teams. If you find yourself relating to one of those reasons, just know that many a #6 seed has won the Race For Social Co-Ed Immortality because they fixed those issues heading into the playoffs. Something clicks with one person, your star player shows up, the team realizes how defense works, etc. I’ve seen it a million times. So don’t you fret, Dear Reader, there’s still time for you to get it together. This is just the final dress rehearsal for you to get it right. 

 

As we approach Week 8, you might be wondering “Hey Godfather, how do the playoffs work, anyway?”. Well, allow me to tell you. 

 

D1: #1 seed gets a bye for Playoff Saturday, 2v7, 3v6, 4v5 for the rest of them. 

 

D2: Top 3 seeds get a bye for Playoff Saturday, 4 and 5 seeds will play. 

 

D3: The 8th and 9th seeded teams will play, with the winner playing the #1 seed right after. 2v7, 3v6, 4v5 also play. 

 

D4: 7v10 and 8v9 will battle in the first round on Playoff Saturday. There is no reseeding here (in order to keep the games/fields on schedule and moving) so the winner of 7v10 will play the #2 seed right after, and the same goes for the 8v9 winner playing the #1 seed. 3v6 and 4v5 will also play. I’m excited for the #10 seed to pull the upset, so that the #1 seed can complain. 

 

D5: 6v11, 7v10, 8v9 all play. The winners meet the #1, #2, and #3 seeds right after. Again, in an effort to keep fields and games on time and moving, there won’t be reseeding here. 8v9 winner plays the #1 seed, 7v10 winner plays the #2 seed, and 6v11 winner plays the #3 seed. When the #3 v #11 matchup happens, again, if it's good enough for your March Madness pools, it’s good enough for Playoff Saturday. 

 

D6: Top 2 seeds get a bye, 3v6 and 4v5. Pretty standard stuff here. 

 

So there you have it, the path to Immortality for each division. Yes, some divisions are more insane than others, but that’s the foundation this league has been built on and that isn’t changing anytime soon. If you possess the ability for reading comprehension (The TSC has computed that approximately 72% of the league does not after it has read Topper and Jeff’s email history), then you’ll realize that there are some important things at stake for this week’s games. There are bye weeks available to be won, and there are also teams that can get into a better seeding so that they don’t have to play a “first round” type of “play-in” game, which in a one game playoff, anything can happen, so it’s best to not have another game that could cause you to lose your chance at Immortality with an upset. Let’s take a look at what fun Week 8 brings us…

 

D1

LAST WEEK'S GAMES

STICKY BANDITS 27, FREEBALLERS 16

EYES DOWNTOWN 31, THE MALONES 29

WHAT A DUMP 29, MAVERICKS 18

EYES DOWNTOWN 22, MAVERICKS 16

LEGENDS 33, WHAT A DUMP 6 (x2)

What a week in D1. Eyes Downtown went 2-0 and announced that everyone who forgot about them is going to pay for it, knocking off The Malones in the process. What A Dump got their first win of the season and let everyone know that they’re alive and well, until the Legends beat WAD 33-6 in a game that counts twice, which means they technically went 2-0 by playing one game, which is the most Legends thing imaginable. And the Sticky Bandits handled the Freeballers to quietly climb right back into the 2-seed conversation.

WHAT'S AT STAKE

The Legends have locked up the #1 seed and the first-round bye. Even if they lose both games Saturday, they hold the head-to-head over The Malones. The real fight is for #2: The Malones and Sticky Bandits are tied, and The Malones hold the head-to-head from their 40-39 thriller, and the Malones have two games to the Bandits' one. One Malones win locks up the 2-seed; an 0-2 Saturday plus a Sticky Nation win flips it. The Freeballers and Eyes Downtown are tied for the 4-seed, their head-to-head was the 21-21 rainout tie (rumors from the Freeballers camp was that Bobby was “ducking” them and forced the tie to happen), so it’ll come down to how the games play out this week. Points will matter. And just for kicks, the Mavericks can actually escape the 7-seed, but only by beating the Legends and the Freeballers in the same afternoon. If they pull that off, write the movie. John Stamos has already attempted to sign on to play “Jordan” just in case, but we’re worried he might be too short. 

 

THIS WEEK'S GAMES:

THE MALONES VS WHAT A DUMP (+13) - What’s worse than playing The Malones? Playing The Malones after they lose. THE MALONES BY 20

STICKY BANDITS VS WHAT A DUMP (+10) - What’s worse than playing The Malones? Playing a team that HAS to win because you just lost to The Malones. STICKY BANDITS BY 14

THE MALONES VS EYES DOWNTOWN (+4) - There is ZERO way The Malones group chat hasn’t had the following this week: poor spelling, a deep lack of proper punctuation, and absolute revenge chatter from last week’s loss. Eyes Downtown “caught ‘em lacking” as I’ve been told people say now. Not again. Right? THE MALONES BY 8

LEGENDS VS MAVERICKS (+8) - On the one hand, Legends have everything sewn up so this game doesn’t really mean anything to them. On the other hand, they definitely like beating the Mavericks. LEGENDS BY 10

LEGENDS VS FREEBALLERS (+6) - Through the miracle of scheduling, this is the only time these teams are going to face off this year. The “new look” Freeballers are a beast that the Legends haven’t tamed yet, and with a potential playoff game in the future, the Legends will want to make sure the Freeballers don’t walk away with a shred of hope that they can pull the upset. They do anyway. LEGENDS BY 3

FREEBALLERS VS MAVERICKS (+7) - These two teams get to play each other after being left for dead by the Legends earlier in the day. How lucky for them. Freeballers get the end of season pick me up. FREEBALLERS BY 7

 

D2

LAST WEEK'S GAMES

CAN'T TOUCH THIS 30, FRODO SWAGGINS 26

BUFFALO VICE 21, D-GENERATION XYZ 6

FRODO SWAGGINS 60, BUFFALO VICE 32

Can't Touch This finished their regular season a nearly perfect 7-0-1, but Frodo gave them everything they could handle in a close game. Then Frodo turned around and scored SIXTY on Buffalo Vice, because Frodo Swaggins is incapable of having a normal Saturday. Speaking of Vice, they got their first win of the season over DXYZ in the morning and allowed 60 in the afternoon, which is quite the feat. 

WHAT'S AT STAKE

Honestly? Nothing. The seeds are locked: CTT is the 1, the Jabronies are the 2, Frodo is the 3, and all three have the Playoff Saturday bye. DXYZ and Buffalo Vice are the 4 and 5, they play each other in the only D2 game on Playoff Saturday no matter what happens this week, and the winner gets Can't Touch This as a prize. Saturday in D2 is about tune-ups, pride, and not getting anyone who matters hurt before the real games begin.

THIS WEEK'S GAMES:

JABRONIES VS BUFFALO VICE (+8) - The Jabronies look to get a quick pre-playoff refresher course in after having off last week. Buffalo Vice gets all the credit in the world for continuing to fight in D2. JABRONIES BY 8

FRODO SWAGGINS VS D-GENERATION XYZ (+7) - Frodo really looks to be coming around as the playoffs near, and what was once determined to be a two horse race looks to have a third contender for the crown. Meanwhile DXYZ is on cruise control a bit. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 13

D3

LAST WEEK'S GAMES

BULLET CLUB 24, PRACTICE SQUAD 15

LET'S GET RECCKED 20, WANDERERS 14

BULLET CLUB 33, CUNNING STUNTS 16

GREY HAIR - DON'T CARE 33, BQI 26

INTERSPACIAL SQUALLING HARRIERS 46, GREY HAIR - DON'T CARE 31

BQI 33, CUNNING STUNTS 26

PRACTICE SQUAD 31, TWO TUDDIES 17

ISH finished the regular season 7-0-1 and remains the final boss of this division. Bullet Club swept their doubleheader and finished 6-2. Grey Hair beat BQI and then ran into the ISH buzzsaw, BQI bounced back against the Stunts, Practice Squad FINALLY got their first win (and it took Jeremy Burr to dust off the cannon and play QB for them to do it), and the Wanderers lost by 6. Again. For the fourth straight game. Somebody check on the Wanderers.

WHAT'S AT STAKE

A lot, actually. ISH has the 1-seed locked, but the rest is up for grabs. Bullet Club's 2-seed is NOT safe. Their season is over and if BQI beats Two Tuddies on Saturday (which is becoming one of the easiest things for a D3 team to do this season), BQI also finishes 6-2,  and BQI holds the head-to-head from their 17-6 win. That would knock the Bullet Club down to 3 without them even playing. Grey Hair can potentially climb in the standings with a win, and if BQI loses, Grey Hair takes the 3-seed via THEIR head-to-head over BQI. Let's Get Reccked has two very winnable games against the Stunts and the Tud Buds that could cause a 3 way tie at 5-3 with BQI and Grey Hair if things fall a certain way for maximum fun. The middle of this bracket is a blender. And at the bottom, the 10am Practice Squad vs Wanderers game is essentially a play-in for the play-in: the loser is headed to the 8-9 game on Playoff Saturday, while the winner has to hope that the Tuddies don’t remember how football works again (they used to!) in order to avoid a rematch. 

The current percentages for who will play in the 8v9 game are as follows: 

Practice Squad - 57.4%

Wanderers - 67.3%

Two Tuddies - 75.3%

 

THIS WEEK'S GAMES:

WANDERERS VS PRACTICE SQUAD (+2) - Schedule makers probably had this pegged as more of a “potential 1st place game” than a “Let’s escape the play in” game back in April, but here we are. Two storied franchises sit at a combined 1-12-1 which felt unfathomable when we started. I can’t imagine the Wanderers winning zero games in a season. WANDERERS BY 3

CUNNING STUNTS VS LET'S GET RECCKED (EVEN) - The Stunts sit at 2-2-2 but the losses have come against better teams in the division. LGR is kind of one of those teams, I think. LET’S GET RECCKED BY 6

LET'S GET RECCKED VS TWO TUDDIES (+9) - The bill for the Tuddies selling their souls to move up a few divisions finally seems to be due after a season I’m sure they’d like to forget. LET’S GET RECCKED BY 12

CUNNING STUNTS VS GREY HAIR - DON'T CARE (+2) - Grey Hair has settled in nicely and with a shot at a better seed on the line, expect them to keep it going. GREY HAIR - DON’T CARE BY 12

BQI VS TWO TUDDIES (+12) - BQI has only struggled with the top teams in D3, losing to ISH and GHDC. They DID beat Bullet Club during the monsoon, and because of that they’ll have a path to the 2 seed with a win here. Shouldn’t be too hard. BQI BY 14

D4

LAST WEEK'S GAMES

TATER TOTS 54, SHOW ME YOUR TDS 0

MIKE'S DETAILING 31, PUCKETT 24

MIKE'S DETAILING 34, BALLS DEEP 20

NOT SO STICKY 30, FLYING BALLS 24

COOCHIE MONSTERS 45, POWERPUFF GIRLS 34

FLYING BALLS 25, COBBLESTONE 21

PUCKETT 42, COBBLESTONE 6

Mike’s Detailing beat Puckett. Let's just sit with that for a second. The first loss for Puckett all season, and Mike's did it while also sweeping a doubleheader. Puckett responded by beating Cobblestone 42-6 hours later, because of course they did. Elsewhere, the Tater Tots dropped 54 points on Show Me Your TDs in the regular season finale of statistical terrorism, the Coochies outlasted the PowerPuff Girls in a shootout, and the Flying Balls got their first win.

WHAT'S AT STAKE

The #1 seed, and it's beautiful. Mike's Detailing and the Coochie Monsters are tied at 6-1, Puckett sits at 5-1 with TWO games Saturday, and here's the kicker: Mike's holds the head-to-head over BOTH of them with the 15-14 weather game against the Coochies and last week's 31-24 over Puckett. The math is so simple even B’s Brother can do it: if Mike's beats Not So Sticky, they're the 1-seed, period, no matter what happens in the Coochies-Puckett showdown. If Mike's loses, the winner of Coochies-Puckett has the inside track (Coochies are #1 if they win, Puckett would also need to beat Balls Deep later on to finish #1). Meanwhile Not So Sticky has the #4 seed nearly wrapped up, but watch Balls Deep as they have two games, and winning both gets them to 5-3 and could take the 4th spot if NSS loses to Mike’s. At the bottom, Cobblestone vs Show Me Your TDs at noon completes a three-way head-to-head round robin between them and the Flying Balls that will sort out seeds 8 through 10 and the play-in matchups on Playoff Saturday. Yes, the tiebreaker scenarios there require a whiteboard. No, I will not be drawing it. The fun part is seeing which of the middle teams end up as the 7 seed. The percentages of that happening for each team that could end up there: 

PowerPuff Girls - 4.0%

Tater Tots - 39.7%

Balls Deep - 56.3%

THIS WEEK'S GAMES:

PUCKETT VS COOCHIE MONSTERS (+4) - A coin flip of epic proportions. Both of these teams have been the cat’s ass all year, and it lines up to give us a hell of a battle for potentially the top seed in the division. Puckett’s defensive armor has shown some cracks in the last two weeks against the two best offenses they’ve faced all year. Coochie represents quite the challenge as well. COOCHIE MONSTERS BY 6

TATER TOTS VS BALLS DEEP (+3) - This is essentially a playoff game in the sense that the loser will more than likely end up the 7 seed. The only way that doesn’t happen is if the Tots win this one (good chance), PowerPuff loses to the Flying Balls (small chance), and then Balls Deep beats Puckett (medium to low chance). So yeah, this is probably a battle for “who doesn’t get the 7 seed”. Not sure Balls Deep can keep up with the Tots offense though. TATER TOTS BY 10.

POWERPUFF GIRLS VS FLYING BALLS (+7) - The Flying Balls need a statement win to salvage a tough season, the Girls need a win to make sure they don’t have to play a play-in game (an extra game could cost them players available with conflicts for their other teams). Girl power prevails. POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 16

COBBLESTONE VS SHOW ME YOUR TDS (+4) - Both teams are looking to go into the playoffs on a winning note. After a season that’s been rough for both squads, I’m sure this will be some epic showdown where Darryl Carr QB Superstar leads his team to victory like it’s 1997. COBBLESTONE BY 8

MIKE'S DETAILING VS NOT SO STICKY (+6) - Not So Sticky needs this game a little. MD needs this game a lot. Plus they’ve been playing a bit better. MIKE’S DETAILING BY 7

PUCKETT VS BALLS DEEP (+10) - Balls Deep’s 3 wins are against the bottom three teams in the league. They haven’t really been close in their games against the “cream of the crop”. Puckett represents the latter here. PUCKETT BY 10

D5

LAST WEEK'S GAMES

COME FROM BEHIND 18, WET BANDITS 13

MO' CHICKEN 22, BLUE BALLERS 18

SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS 30, PIT HARADE 25

BIRDS OF WAR 42, BLUE BALLERS 20

CALL THE DOCTOR 33, 716ERS 25

MO' CHICKEN 21, SBG 0 (FORFEIT)

MO' CHICKEN BEAT THE BLUE BALLERS. I've written a lot of sentences in this column over the years and that one might be in the top five least believable. The team with zero wins and two ties held the most explosive offense in the league to 18 points. Then the Birds of War beat the Blue Ballers by 22 in the afternoon, meaning the Ballers went from 5-0 and terrifying to 5-2 in roughly six hours. The Birds have now scored 58, 48, and 42 in their last three games and nobody wants any part of them as they’re the hottest team in the TSL. 

WHAT'S AT STAKE

Blitzkrieg controls the #1 seed: they hold the head-to-head over Call the Doctor, so one win Saturday locks it up. But their first game is against those white hot Birds of War, and here's where it gets fun: the Birds can finish anywhere from the 1 seed to the 3 seed depending on Saturday. Beat Blitzkrieg and get a Call the Doctor loss, and there's a genuine three-way tiebreaker scenario at the top that the Birds actually win, I think, considering that Topper’s magical tie breaker machine still runs that portion of the league. The Blue Ballers are done, as they’ve had to forfeit against the 716ers and are locked into the #4 seed (the Birds hold the head-to-head). In the middle, Come From Behind, the 716ers, and the Wet Bandits are sorting out seeds 5 through 7,  which matters here, because seeds 6 through 11 are all in play-in games on Playoff Saturday, and your seed determines whether your reward for surviving is Blitzkrieg, Call the Doctor, or the Birds. Mo' Chicken, fresh off the upset of the spring, scared the McMuffins into a forfeit this week.  In this mess of a division, Saturday is musical chairs and the music is very loud. It’ll be interesting to see how it all shakes out.

THIS WEEK'S GAMES:

BLITZKRIEG VS BIRDS OF WAR (+4) - Game of the Day Potential here. The hottest team in the division all year against the hottest team in the division of the last few weeks. BOW has their sights set on the division crown, but Blitzkrieg has been on cruise control all season. This should be a good one. BIRDS OF WAR BY 3

COME FROM BEHIND VS SBG (+14) - The 716ers forfeit win over Blue Ballers makes this game matter even more for CFB. Come From Behind needs to win this game, and I’m pretty sure they need to score a decent amount of points in order to pass the 716ers for the final “non play-in” slot for the playoffs. COME FROM BEHIND BY 20

CALL THE DOCTOR VS WET BANDITS (+8) - This game matters a bit for both teams, potentially. Wet Bandits could use the win to perhaps sneak into the 5 seed. CTD, meanwhile could need this win to finish as the #1 seed in the division if the Birds of War beat Blitzkrieg earlier in the day. If that happens, CTD would have to pray that Pit Harade pulls off an upset too. CALL THE DOCTOR BY 13

BLITZKRIEG VS PIT HARADE (+12) - This game either really matters for Blitzkrieg, or it won’t matter at all. If BK wins against BOW, they clinch first overall and can mail this one in and have “fun”. If they lose to BOW, then they HAVE to win this game, which doesn’t bode well for a Pit Harade team that’s been close to a few wins but haven’t quite gotten there yet. BLITZKRIEG BY 14

D6

LAST WEEK'S GAMES

TMA 34, INTENTIONAL CLOWNING 6

SELECT 26, RAW MILKERS 0

In Week 2, Intentional Clowning beat TMA 33-10. On Saturday, TMA beat Intentional Clowning 34-6. That is a 51-point swing between meetings of the same two teams, and it instantly handed TMA the division lead and turned the D6 title picture upside down. Quietly, Select also pitched a shutout for their second win in three weeks. D6 has spent all season being the league's strangest division and it's finishing strong.

WHAT'S AT STAKE

The top two seeds get the Playoff Saturday bye, and only one of them is settled, sort of. TMA has a bye locked, but the #1 seed itself is live: if TMA beats Select and IC sweeps their doubleheader, both finish at 7-1 with losses against each other, and then Topper Magic takes over yet again. Which means Saturday's games matter for points for those teams in D6, not just the results. And if TMA somehow loses to Select while IC goes 2-0, Intentional Clowning steals the #1 seed outright. The second bye could come down to the Intentional Clowning vs Irish Giants game where the Giants need to win out and have Sticky Laces beat IC. It stands to be an interesting Saturday in D6.

THIS WEEK'S GAMES:

TMA VS SELECT (+8) - TMA has one of the byes wrapped up, but more importantly, they’ve been on a tear since they lost their first game and nothing seems to slow them down. Select has great defense, and they’re improving, but they aren’t yet on the TMA level. TMA BY 6

STICKY LACES VS RAW MILKERS (+6) - The Raw Milkers are just a half step behind all of the teams in D6. They compete, but they just aren’t quite there overall yet. The Sticky Laces have been pretty consistent and are arguably a bit better than their record shows. STICKY LACES BY 8

INTENTIONAL CLOWNING VS STICKY LACES (+7) - IC needs this one, they can’t chance potentially missing out on the bye. INTENTIONAL CLOWNING BY 13

IRISH GIANTS VS RAW MILKERS (+9) - The Giants have an outside shot at the bye, and they’ve been pretty good all season. And I don’t even think they’ve been playing their best football yet. IRISH GIANTS BY 12

INTENTIONAL CLOWNING VS IRISH GIANTS (+3) - This more than likely isn’t anything other than a future playoff preview, but these teams are pretty evenly matched. I just give a slight nod to the IC. INTENTIONAL CLOWNING BY 2

 

GF vs GPT

WEEK 7

AGAINST THE SPREAD

Topper's Super Computer: 15-14-1

The Godfather: 15-14-1

STRAIGHT UP

Topper's Super Computer: 19-11

The Godfather: 18-12

OVERALL SEASON

AGAINST THE SPREAD

Topper's Super Computer: 90-64-5

The Godfather: 82-72-5

STRAIGHT UP

Topper's Super Computer: 107-45-7

The Godfather: 100-52-7

The cold and calculated Skynet wannabe has a decent lead here, which is disappointing. Here’s hoping I make up some ground here. 

 

THE TSC’S PICKS: 

 

THE MALONES VS WHAT A DUMP (+13) - THE MALONES BY 16

STICKY BANDITS VS WHAT A DUMP (+10) - STICKY BANDITS BY 12

THE MALONES VS EYES DOWNTOWN (+4) - THE MALONES BY 5

LEGENDS VS MAVERICKS (+8) - LEGENDS BY 10

LEGENDS VS FREEBALLERS (+6) - LEGENDS BY 7

FREEBALLERS VS MAVERICKS (+7) - FREEBALLERS BY 9

JABRONIES VS BUFFALO VICE (+8) - JABRONIES BY 11

FRODO SWAGGINS VS D-GENERATION XYZ (+7) - FRODO SWAGGINS BY 10

WANDERERS VS PRACTICE SQUAD (+2) - WANDERERS BY 6

CUNNING STUNTS VS LET'S GET RECCKED (EVEN) - LET'S GET RECCKED BY 2

LET'S GET RECCKED VS TWO TUDDIES (+9) - LET'S GET RECCKED BY 12

CUNNING STUNTS VS GREY HAIR - DON'T CARE (+2) - GREY HAIR - DON'T CARE BY 3

BQI VS TWO TUDDIES (+12) - BQI BY 15

PUCKETT VS COOCHIE MONSTERS (+4) - PUCKETT BY 7

TATER TOTS VS BALLS DEEP (+3) - BALLS DEEP BY 2

POWERPUFF GIRLS VS FLYING BALLS (+7) - POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 9

COBBLESTONE VS SHOW ME YOUR TDS (+4) - COBBLESTONE BY 6

MIKE'S DETAILING VS NOT SO STICKY (+6) - MIKE'S DETAILING BY 8

PUCKETT VS BALLS DEEP (+10) - PUCKETT BY 14

BLITZKRIEG VS BIRDS OF WAR (+4) - BLITZKRIEG BY 6

COME FROM BEHIND VS SBG (+14) - COME FROM BEHIND BY 17

CALL THE DOCTOR VS WET BANDITS (+8) - CALL THE DOCTOR BY 10

BLITZKRIEG VS PIT HARADE (+12) - BLITZKRIEG BY 15

TMA VS SELECT (+8) - TMA BY 12

STICKY LACES VS RAW MILKERS (+6) - STICKY LACES BY 8

INTENTIONAL CLOWNING VS STICKY LACES (+7) - INTENTIONAL CLOWNING BY 9

IRISH GIANTS VS RAW MILKERS (+9) - IRISH GIANTS BY 11

INTENTIONAL CLOWNING VS IRISH GIANTS (+3) - INTENTIONAL CLOWNING BY 4

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

1. Mike's Detailing can lock up the D4 1-seed by simply beating Not So Sticky but the Puckett vs Coochie Monsters game might be the best matchup of the regular season anyway. Puckett's defense allowed 24 or fewer in every game until Mike's hung 31 on them last week. Who survives the D4 gauntlet holding the top seed?  I do think Puckett wins both of their games this week, but it will be all for naught as Mike’s Detailing will beat NSS to take the top seed. 
2. The Freeballers get the Legends in the final chance for anyone in D1 to ruin a perfect season. The Legends' closest game this year was a 4-point win over the Sticky Bandits. Can the Freeballers do it? Can they? Yes, there IS a world where they can. It’s just highly unlikely. The Legends have a habit of “getting up” for games against teams they haven’t played yet, and they have yet to play THIS season’s version of the Freeballers. 
3. The Tater Tots and Balls Deep have somehow never played each other, they're separated by nothing in the standings, and the winner of their game gets the 6-seed and dodges the play-in round entirely. The Tots just scored 54. Balls Deep allows 16 a game. Which identity holds up? I think the Tots ability to score points holds up better than the Balls Deep defense. Look no further than the Tots dropping 31 on Puckett’s killer defense two weeks ago. The Tots are really good. 
4. Eyes Downtown beat The Malones 31-29 six days ago, and the schedule immediately runs it back with the 2-seed hanging over the rematch. Was last week the wake-up call The Malones needed, or did ED expose something real? Can it be a little of both? The Malones learned they need to be a little bit better under pressure, instead of doing the whole “yell at each other a lot” thing that they tend to do in close games. I don’t think Eyes Downtown exposed them in any way, I just think ED reminded everyone who they are. Pretty good timing for that. 
5. Blitzkrieg has allowed 41 points all season. The Birds of War have scored 148 in their last three games.  Saturday, one of those numbers stops being true. Which one? Birds of War are going to score on Blitzkrieg. They might even surpass 41 points, but I don’t think that will be the case. BK has been lucky in the sense that they missed out on playing both Come From Behind and the Blue Ballers completely this season, and they haven’t played BOW yet, obviously. In other words, they’ve had an easier schedule. Not to say they’re frauds, just saying that their defense might have had it easy for 7 weeks. BOW is a real test here. 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

-From the Rose Garden: This week there will be a wedding at the Rose Garden at 5:00. While they aren’t asking everyone to leave, they’d like people to move to the inside bar starting around 4:30pm please. 

 

-Breakfast Club playoffs start this week. Paige proved to be a more than capable captain as she led her team to a 5-0-1 record and the top seed. Team Carly takes the other bye. This week we get #3 Fittsmagic vs #6 Megoonsta’s and #4 Water Under The Bridget vs #5 Steph Infection. 

 

• Fittsmagic 35, Megoonsta’s 29

• Water Under The Bridget 30, Steph Infection 26

 

 

-GAMES OF THE DAY: 

10:00 - Practice Squad vs Wanderers

11:00 - Eyes Downtown vs The Malones

12:00 - Flying Balls vs PowerPuff Girls

1:00 - Birds Of War vs Blitzkrieg

2:00 - Freeballers vs Legends

3:00 - Cunning Stunts vs Grey Hair - Don’t Care

 

-The weather for Buffalo this week is going to be 80 degrees and sunny. Perfect football weather. But stay hydrated and wear sunscreen. 

 

-Legends and Blitzkrieg are the only two teams still available to win every game this season. ISH and CTT both went 7-0-1. Probably should’ve toughed out the rain. 

 

-Andrew Kicak sent me an email and talked about boring things about how great Alexander Lee has been, or that Ellory Harpst leads the team in touchdowns this season after being more known for her defense over the years. And also that she’s a great Physical Therapist for all of you TSLers that could use one after a long season! 

 

-He also asked Jeff Krol to make a “UFC ring on that gravel lot” so he can challenge Bobby to a duel, presumably. Lenny would make it so. Just saying. 

 

-Winless teams remaining: Mavericks, Wanderers, Pit Harade, SBG. Last chance you guys. 

 

-The wine tournament is a go! It will once again be at the Black Willow Winery, and it will take place a little earlier than usual this year, on Saturday, August 1st. If you want to get ahead of the game and sign up asap, you can do so here: 

 

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1urBLH44_96Fkih8OhD4IkAFZUKmKdAs0vxERt0bC7x0/edit

 

-Finally, with the season coming to an end, tensions will start to rise and tempers will start to flare. Keep your composure, and if you notice a teammate struggling to keep theirs, help them out with it. Don’t let someone get suspended for the playoffs because they lost their mind from the pressure that comes with chasing down Immortality. 

 

-GF OUT

PLAYOFF SATURDAY THOUGHTS AND PREDICTIONS

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 19 June 2026 20:20

Published: Friday, 19 June 2026 20:20

Written by Topper

Hits: 737

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, after eight long, mostly rain-soaked weeks, we’ve finally arrived at the reason you’re all here: The Race For Social Co-Ed Touch Football Immortality. After months and months of team building, convincing someone to leave their team for yours because they’re the “missing piece” that your squad has been searching for, practicing, begging for your team fees, finding subs, bothering Jeff Krol/Garrett/Brent with SOMETHING, reading articles, listening to the podcast, oh, and playing football that didn’t get rained out (and some games that should’ve been) this Saturday begins the two week journey that all of that other stuff was meant for. 

 

On Saturday, June 20th in the Year of Our Lord 2026, 45 of the TSL’s 54 teams will go to war for the seven championships that will be earned over the next two weeks. Yes, I said 7, you’re forgetting Breakfast Club. Of the teams that will not be playing this week, six of them have bye weeks straight to Championship Saturday (Legends, Can’t Touch This, Jabronies, Frodo Swaggins, TMA, and Intentional Clowning), 2 of them already lost in Breakfast Club because those playoffs started last weekend (Steph Infection, Megoonsta’s), and one team already forfeit because some time during the season they collectively realized that they’re not very good at football at all, and they’re better off doing something more their speed like scrapbooking (SBG). Not everyone is cut out for the world of Social Co-Ed Touch Football. It happens. 

 

Yes, Playoff Saturday is here, and with it comes one of the absolute best days of the year in sports. There will be blowouts, there will be upsets nobody saw coming, there might even be overtime games. There will be teams absolutely shocked they aren’t playing on Championship Saturday. There will be excuses. There will be blood. Teams that looked downtrodden all season will finally put it all together when it matters. Teams that looked unbeatable all season will trip on their faces wondering what went wrong. It is much more rare for Playoff Saturday to have all of the top seeds advance than it is to have chaos. There will be a 6th or 7th seeded team (OR EVEN LOWER) playing next week, most likely. 

 

The only thing we truly don’t know is who the Social Co-Ed Touch Football Gods will be smiling on, and whose dreams they will choose to crush. And that’s the fun of it all, of course. Nothing is more fun for me than sitting in my rocking chair on my deck at my log cabin in Des Moines, Iowa as the texts start to roll in. “SO AND SO JUST UPSET WHATSTHEIRFACES!”, “Have I got a story for you!”, “B’S BROTHER BE PRAISED!!, and so on. Every hour of Playoff Saturday will have its own twists and turns as The Race For Social Co-Ed Touch Football Immortality unfolds in front of your very eyes. May the odds be ever in your favor. 

(The following championship odds and simulations were run by B's Brother in Madden '26 for us, 10,000 times. All rankings are based on the division, except, of course, for the super secret Topper TSL Ranking system only he knows about.)

 

D1:

CHAMPIONSHIP ODDS

CONTENDERS:
Legends — 2-1
The Malones — 3-1

A STEP BEHIND:
Sticky Bandits — 6-1
Freeballers — 12-1
Eyes Downtown — 18-1

PRETENDERS:
What a Dump — 40-1
Mavericks — 50-1

TIMES WON IN 10,000 B'S BROTHER MADDEN SIMULATIONS:
Legends — 4,642
The Malones — 4,098
Sticky Bandits — 975
Freeballers — 219
Eyes Downtown — 58
Mavericks — 7
What a Dump — 1

THE STORY: The Legends did what the Legends always do, running the table at 8-0 and reminding everyone why they're the gold standard. But the real story of D1 was the Malones' final month, as they flipped a switch and started torching everyone in sight, hanging 50, 61, and 76 in their last three games to potentially set up the title clash everyone's been waiting for. Sticky Bandits hung tough all year and stayed in the 2-seed mix until the final whistle. Eyes Downtown will feel like the one that got away, pulling off the upset of the Malones in Week 7 before fading, and the Freeballers had their moments. What a Dump finally found a win after a long season in the wilderness, and the Mavericks, despite an 0-fer, played one of the hardest schedules in the division and were closer than the record shows.

THIS WEEK'S GAMES

 

The Malones tore through the season, leaving an absolute path of destruction in their wake. They’re the newest shiny play thing to pop up to attempt to defeat the Legends, but they have to get there first. Nothing is guaranteed, and now they get a Mavericks team in the first round of the playoffs that arguably have nothing to lose, which makes them dangerous. It can be argued that the Mavs deserved a better fate than an 0-8 season, but sometimes that’s just the way the cookie crumbles. What matters the most now is that everyone is 0-0, and let’s not forget that the Mavs have had The Malones number in the past. This won’t be easy for The Malones, and if they look past the Mavs, they might not even be playing next weekend. This feels as good a time as any to remind the TSL that the Mavs were left for dead as a #7 seed last season, and ended up pulling off quite the dramatic OT win to move on to Championship Saturday. There’s a reason they’re in D1.  THE MALONES BY 7

 

 

It was simply a lost season for What A Dump, as roster/attendance issues surely caused some problems for them. The talent is there, but they seem unable to really get it together. Their prize? A 1-7 season that sees them as heavy underdogs to a Sticky Bandits team that had a blip or two along the way this season, but still should be taken seriously as a title contender, even if they haven’t been as flashy as the Legends or Malones. STICKY BANDITS BY 14

Now we’re talking. While the other two D1 playoff games leave a lot to be desired in terms of a close matchup, the 4v5 matchup here does not disappoint at all. The story lines are everywhere here: The Freeballers, perennial doormats of D1, finally get a QB in Buddy Lee after cycling through more quarterbacks than the Cleveland Browns. In one season, Buddy has made the Freeballers less of a D1 joke than they ever have been, and if you squint hard enough, you can see a path that leads them to a D1 title. They take on Eyes Downtown, the former giants of D1, who have rebuilt the roster in hopes of restoring former glory. However, there are many questions floating around the league about them like if they’re overrated, or if Bobby is even the best QB on the roster for the job anymore with Bridget’s emergence. It’s amazing to think that one of these franchises won’t be playing on Championship Saturday. At the end of the day though, even if you think FB have the advantage at QB here, they don’t have it anywhere else. Experience wins out. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 2

 

D2:

CHAMPIONSHIP ODDS

CONTENDERS:
Can't Touch This — 2-1
Jabronies — 5-1
Frodo Swaggins — 7-1

PRETENDERS:
D-Generation XYZ — 20-1
Buffalo Vice — 30-1

TIMES WON IN 10,000 B'S BROTHER MADDEN SIMULATIONS:
Can't Touch This — 7,423
Jabronies — 1,494
Frodo Swaggins — 952
D-Generation XYZ — 97
Buffalo Vice — 34

THE STORY: Can't Touch This went wire to wire as the class of the division, finishing 7-0-1 and never tasting a loss all season. The Jabronies were the steady second fiddle, racking up wins and locking down a bye, while Frodo Swaggins spent the year as the league's resident wild card where they’re capable of dropping 60 one week and surviving a one-point thriller the next, finishing strong enough to grab the 3 seed they essentially put on the line last week for no reason other than fun. That Garrett, what a guy. The bottom of the division belonged to Buffalo Vice and D-Generation XYZ, who battled injuries and tough luck all year as they settled in. The two will settle it head-to-head on Playoff Saturday for the right to take a crack at the juggernaut. Usually, that’s a pretty bad reward, but given the playoff history of CTT, it might be a pass to the finals.

 

THIS WEEK'S GAMES

This 4v5 matchup might not have the pedigree that the D1 battle does, but we’ve got two teams here that will absolutely have a doozy between the two of them. Neither team had the season they hoped for, but they’re also in a division with some crazy talent, where arguably the other 3 teams should be playing in D1. They’ve split the season series, and they’re quite evenly matched. Vice has the QB nod, and it’s incredibly rare for me to say this to a team with Katie Keller on it, but they have the upperhand with girls too. This one is going to come down to defense, and DXYZ has the advantage here. D-GENERATION XYZ BY 6.

D3:

CHAMPIONSHIP ODDS

CONTENDERS:
ISH — 2-1
Bullet Club — 4-1
BQI — 6-1

WOULDN'T BE SHOCKING:
Let's Get Reccked — 10-1
Grey Hair - Don't Care — 14-1
Cunning Stunts — 20-1

WANDERERS:
Wanderers — 30-1

PRACTICE SQUAD:
Practice Squad — 60-1

PRETENDERS:
Two Tuddies — 80-1

TIMES WON IN 10,000 B'S BROTHER MADDEN SIMULATIONS:
ISH — 4,323
Bullet Club — 3,301
BQI — 1,362
Let's Get Reccked — 498
Grey Hair - Don't Care — 250
Cunning Stunts — 148
Wanderers — 104
Practice Squad — 12
Two Tuddies — 2

THE STORY: ISH took the top seed with a 7-0-1 campaign, but D3 was a knife fight at the top all year. Bullet Club went 6-2 with a monster point differential and has every right to feel like a co-favorite, while BQI grabbed the 2-seed on the strength of a head-to-head win over Bullet Club and a stingy defense. The middle of this division was a blender as Grey Hair, Let's Get Reccked, and Cunning Stunts all took turns looking dangerous, with the Stunts' two ties hinting at a team tougher than its seed. And then there were the Wanderers, the season's great heartbreak story: five straight one-score losses before finally breaking through with a 13-point win in Week 8 to send themselves into the playoffs on a high note. Practice Squad and Two Tuddies fought to the end in a brutal division, as they struggled to get into a rhythm with newer rosters, and there were some injury issues as well.

 

THIS WEEK'S GAMES

ROUND ONE

 

Back in April, both of these teams had visions of champagne dreams and caviar wishes as they could see themselves waltzing away with a D3 championship. Back in May, they could only hope to maybe pick up a win to turn the season around. And now in June, the fastest either of them have run all year is to the bus to get out of this nightmare season. The Tud Buds started off great, beating the Wanderers (before we realized they were a husk of their former selves) and they looked to be taking D3 by storm as they did in D4. They haven’t won since, albeit being close a few times. The Squad just couldn’t get on the same page this season, and their only win was because Jeremy Burr dusted off the ol’ golden arm and heroically stepped in for B for a game, against the Tuddies of course. So what happens here? The Tuddies sound defeated, tripping on excuses. Practice Squad might be blackmailing Kenny to play one more game. But let’s face it, this game goes through one thing and one thing only: 

 

Playoff B. 

 

The man has done it time and time again. He’s probably been locked in since Sunday. If you don’t think he’s internally furious that the Squad’s only win this season was without him, you’ve got another thing coming. Playoff B is the 2nd best Jets QB of all time without playing a single down. He will find a way and he will will this team to victory here. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 14

 

ROUND 2:

Playoff B’s gift for wiping out the Tud Buds? ISH. No matter the name, the maroon and gold have been a top D3 team and this season was no different. They have the division’s best offense and 2nd best defense. Andrew Kicak might pretend to be a villain but he’s the first one to tout his lesser known players and their talents. Buddy Lee is a D1 QB of the Year contender, so of course he’s dunking on D3. Everyone knows their role and they’re playing as a team. They’re a well oiled machine, and they give off the vibes that they’re going to bring home the D3 title this season, which of course probably means they won’t, but they’ll be a hell of a tough out. ISH BY 17

 

BQI had a pretty seamless transition from D5 to D3 this season, ending up a Top 10 TSL team thanks to a division best defense, growth from Bridget in the QB position, Bobby offering his wisdom, and Jon Tirado creating that family-like atmosphere that gets people playing for each other. Now they get the Wanderers, coming off of the worst season in Wanderers history, and yet they still remain scary. Frank (even with all of his “quirks”) is still a brilliant QB, and Sal is still a top player in the division. If they get hot? Who knows what could happen. They only lost by 6 to BQI this season, and they actually scored the second most points that BQI has allowed all year. If I’m the Wanderers, I have to be feeling pretty good here. They’re going to scare BQI. If the Wanderers can make an early play or two, look out. WANDERERS BY 2

 

The D3 matchups just keep getting better and better. Bullet Club finds themselves in the same position they’re usually in: Top 3 in the standings with a weird loss or two, title contender, but not the top contender. Their only two losses have come against the two teams ahead of them in the standings: ISH and BQI. They score a good amount of points and they play good defense. They handled the Stunts pretty well a couple of weeks ago. And none of that matters now. The Stunts are superstars, and a good chunk of them won’t have to worry about any other games this weekend as the Legends have a bye. There is a pretty clear path to a Stunts win, especially if Bullet Club underestimates them after that win this season. If that happens, someone better protect the garbage cans. I don’t think it will though. BULLET CLUB BY 9

 

These two teams match up well with similar stats, but they couldn’t be more opposite otherwise. LGR is incredibly talented, but they just give off the vibe that they don’t really care enough and they never seem locked in. Grey Hair Don’t Care, meanwhile, feels like they’re slightly less talented overall, BUT they care big time. I’d go straight to the argument that GHDC has the better QB in Dave Eickhoff (And the QB Power Rankings agree! Check them out!) but LGR also dominated the Week 4 matchup. I think if you ran this game alone 10,000 times you’d end up at 5,000-5,000. I expect LGR to make one more big play on defense to walk out with a win, and if we end up having an overtime game, this feels like it. LET’S GET RECCKED BY 2

 

D4:

CHAMPIONSHIP ODDS

CONTENDERS:
Puckett — 2-1
Mike's Detailing — 2-1
Coochie Monsters — 4-1

NEEDS HELP:
Tater Tots — 8-1
PowerPuff Girls — 12-1
Not So Sticky — 15-1
Balls Deep — 24-1

ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE WITH DARRYL:
Cobblestone — 30-1

PRETENDERS:
Flying Balls — 50-1
Show Me Your TDs — 100-1

TIMES WON IN 10,000 B'S BROTHER MADDEN SIMULATIONS:
Puckett — 3,943
Mike's Detailing — 3,792
Tater Tots — 1,042
PowerPuff Girls — 563
Coochie Monsters — 492
Not So Sticky — 118
Balls Deep — 26
Cobblestone — 20
Show Me Your TDs — 2
Flying Balls — 2

THE STORY: The deepest division in the league produced the best three-team race of the season. Mike's Detailing claimed the top seed with their Week 7 win, becoming the only team to beat Puckett this season (so far). Puckett answered the only way they know how, blanking the next opponent and finishing with the best point differential in the entire league. Coochie Monsters were right in the thick of it but lost to both Mike’s and Puckett, and the Tater Tots were the team nobody wanted to see coming almost scoring at will. From the PowerPuff Girls and NSS down through a gritty Cobblestone and a Flying Balls team that found its first win late, this division had no easy nights.

THIS WEEK'S GAMES

ROUND ONE

 

A good ol’ fashioned Balls battle to get D4 started off right. Balls Deep didn’t have a fantastic start to their foray into D4, but they definitely proved they belong a bit more than their Balls counterparts did after leaping up from D6. Balls Deep finished 3-5, only beating the other Round One squads, but you just know they learned a lot from this season and should be improved in the fall. Flying Balls might’ve been the “season from hell” team for Spring 2026 after flying onto the TSL scene a season ago. They’ve had a heck of a trying season, but what better way to salvage it than with a playoff win? It’s a nice thought anyway. BALLS DEEP BY 10

 

Cobblestone is in the middle of another trying season where Darryl Carr QB Superstar continues to be let down by his “washed up charity projects” like John Langley and Garrett Beesing. However, Cobblestone DID just beat SMYTDs a week ago rather easily, and they still had the 2nd hardest schedule in D4, which means that perhaps they’re a sleeping giant of sorts. SMYTDs did NOT have a great go of it all to get started, but things got slightly better as the season went on. It wasn’t perfect, no, but they’re officially the greatest Show Me Your TDs team of all time! Anyway, COBBLESTONE BY 10

 

ROUND TWO

 

In Week 5 of this season, Cobblestone gave us the most confusing and “How The Hell Did That Happen?” moment of the year when they shut out Mike’s Detailing 14-0. That’s not a typo, Jeff Krol has promised me that this actually happened. While I’m sure the weather had something to do with it, it still boggles the human mind. There’s an argument to be had that if they win this game, it’ll be the biggest upset in TSL history, especially because they already won, so MD is already looking for revenge, or at the very least won’t take them lightly. Mike’s Detailing (tell them The Godfather sent you for 10% off!) has been nothing short of terrific besides that Cobblestone game they were in a coma for. The TSL is a better place when Darryl plays on Championship Saturday with a shot at the title. It’s not going to be a better place this year. MIKE’S DETAILING BY 17

 

 

Puckett had one slip up in an amazing season when they lost to Mike’s Detailing a few weeks ago. They smothered teams on defense, and put up a lot of points too. They just beat Balls Deep last weekend rather easily. They’re arguably pound for pound the best team in the division. Balls Deep is going to give them a better game than they did last week, but still fall short of the goal. PUCKETT BY 11

 

For those of you looking for the best game of the day, this might be it. These two teams had a 37-36 thriller a month ago, and there’s nothing that suggests that we couldn’t see that again here. This game features two of the top 3 offenses in the division, so we’re in for a treat. The Tots have scored oodles of points, and they’ve done so while being saddled with the toughest schedule in D4. Meanwhile the Coochie Monsters have been top notch on both sides of the ball, only losing by 1 to Mike’s Detailing and 3 to Puckett. They’re a battle tested, smart group, and to be honest I think they’re getting a little lost in the shuffle, which is maybe what they want to be. It’s a shame one of these teams have to lose this week. COOCHIE MONSTERS BY 1

 

PowerPuff Girls vs Not So Sticky. What a fantastic Playoff Saturday matchup! You’d be hard pressed to find two more evenly matched teams. They even tied in the only game they’ve played this year! The PPG might not be the absolute murderers they can be when they’re at full strength this season, but this iteration has more than held their own. Not So Sticky has played their game all year, like they always do. Low scoring games where they squeak out a couple of wins plus random unforeseen blowout wins and losses too. They’re always a lot of fun to watch, and this game won’t be any different. I’ve gone back and forth on this one for a while now. NOT SO STICKY BY 3

 

D5:

CHAMPIONSHIP ODDS

CONTENDERS:
Birds of War — 2-1
Blue Ballers — 3-1
Blitzkrieg — 5-1

OUTSIDE CHANCE:
Call the Doctor — 8-1

PRETENDERS:
Come from Behind — 20-1
Wet Bandits — 30-1
716ers — 40-1
Mo' Chicken — 50-1
Sausage McMuffins — 60-1
Pit Harade — 75-1
SBG — ZERO SHOT

TIMES WON IN 10,000 B'S BROTHER MADDEN SIMULATIONS:
Birds of War — 5,802
Blue Ballers — 2,998
Call the Doctor — 616
Blitzkrieg — 434
Come from Behind — 86
Wet Bandits — 21
716ers — 14
Sausage McMuffins — 12
Mo' Chicken — 11
Pit Harade — 6
SBG — 0

THE STORY: The biggest division in the league saved its best story for last. Blitzkrieg and Call the Doctor both finished 7-1 and grabbed the top two seeds with rock-solid seasons, but the team everyone's talking about heading into the playoffs is the Birds of War. After a slow-ish start, the Birds caught fire and never cooled down, ripping off 58, 48, 42, and a 36-point shutout of Blitzkrieg to close the year as the hottest team in the entire league. The Blue Ballers and their league-best offense looked unstoppable for stretches before a brutal Week 7, including a shocking loss to Mo' Chicken, who authored the upset of the season. From the middle tier down, D5 was a survival contest, with the 716ers backing into a seed and a slew of teams scrapping through a gauntlet schedule.

THIS WEEK'S GAMES

ROUND ONE

 

Mo’ Chicken has had quite the year, and after some rainouts, and some forfeits, they might be a little bit overrated here as we enter the playoffs. It isn’t completely fair to them as they can only play the schedule they’re given, so you’d have to assume they’ll be looking to prove themselves as “the real deal” this week. They get a Pit Harade team who has yet to win a game but also has a point differential better as a 10 seed than the 7 seed they’re playing. Also PH had a very tough schedule which can only help them in this game. They did have close losses against Birds of War and the Wet Bandits, and perhaps they should have a win or two. PIT HARADE BY 8

 

Here we have the rare “First meeting of the season” is in the playoffs matchup. The Wet Bandits came into the league as fresh faced newcomers and proceeded to rattle off a few wins out of the gate. The rest of the year had it’s ups and downs, as evidenced by the fact that they’re playing in the Round One matchup. They also boast a pretty weak offense, having relied on defense to win some games. The McMuffins have been all over the place in a down year for the franchise, and while their offense is slightly better than the Bandits, their defense is kind of “Brutal”. I expect a close matchup until one team pulls away late. WET BANDITS BY 7

 

ROUND TWO

 

The Wet Bandits reward for winning the 8/9 matchup? Blitzkrieg, which up until a week ago was more fear inspiring before the Birds of War came to town. BK still handled the Bandits fairly easily in their own matchup in Week 6, as their top ranked defense held the Bandits to just two measly TDs as they cruised to a win. Blitzkrieg may have been shook last week, but not enough to fall here. BLITZKRIEG BY 19

 

Call The Doctor absolutely crushed it in their first season in D5, going 7-1, having a top 2 defense, and a top 4 offense. Even with allegedly having some brand new players from the start, Eickhoff has really rounded his crew into form as the Playoffs arrive. They are indeed a bit of a dark horse to win this title, but they’re still in the picture. The ride for Pit Harade more than likely ends here. CALL THE DOCTOR BY 13

 

Whatever happened to the Birds of War in Week 4 to lose to CFB has been more than adjusted for it seems. BOW is scoring 40 a game while allowing less than 20 on defense, and are arguably the hottest team not just in D5, but in the entire TSL. Now they get a chance to get a win back over CFB? Look out. Come From Behind, of course, has been here before. They’ve played and beaten hotter, better teams than BOW before. If they just go out and play the same game some of them have been playing since the late 1960’s, they’ll be just fine. And if they don’t? They’ll still be at the bar Championship Saturday game or not. BIRDS OF WAR BY 18

 

The Blue Ballers were on pace to set the modern day scoring record for the TSL, and then the calendar turned to June, and they lost 2 games and forfeit another. Just like that, they’re the 4 seed and people are sending emails wondering whether or not to send flowers. I’m choosing to believe the first 5 games were more of the norm than the last three. There’s a pretty clear line of demarcation in this division, and it’s right here. The 716ers had a really good first season to build on. They’re in the middle of the pack on both sides of the ball, and they hung tough with Blitzkrieg and Call The Doctor. It’s a very, very good season to build off of. BLUE BALLERS BY 12

 

D6:

CHAMPIONSHIP ODDS

CONTENDERS:
TMA — 2-1
Intentional Clowning — 4-1

WELL, MAYBE:
Irish Giants — 5-1
Select — 8-1

PRETENDERS:
Raw Milkers — 15-1
Sticky Laces — 40-1

TIMES WON IN 10,000 B'S BROTHER MADDEN SIMULATIONS:
TMA — 4,631
Intentional Clowning — 2,148
Irish Giants — 1,735
Select — 955
Raw Milkers — 505
Sticky Laces — 26

THE STORY: Division 6 spent most of the season looking like Intentional Clowning's to lose — until the final stretch flipped it on its head. TMA saved their best for last, capped by a 34-6 demolition of Intentional Clowning in Week 7 that vaulted them to the 1-seed and the bye. IC still claimed the 2-seed and a bye of their own, but the Irish Giants were the story underneath, knocking off IC to cost them the top spot and announcing themselves as the team nobody wants to draw. Select and Raw Milkers each had their moments in a tightly-bunched middle, with Select's late shutout of the Milkers a season highlight. Sticky Laces battled through a tough year but punched their playoff ticket like everyone else — because in this league, everybody gets a shot at immortality.

 

THIS WEEK'S GAMES

 

The Sticky Laces started off the season 2-2 with two one point losses. At 4-0 they’re the talk of the town. However, we would’ve spent the weeks after that wondering what went wrong. The Laces forgot how to score and how to play defense and they came crashing down to Earth. Meanwhile the Irish Giants remained incredibly consistent. They’re in just about every game, they beat Intentional Clowning, barely lost to them, and hung with TMA. They’re arguably as good of a shot to win it all as anyone else. This should be easy for them, provided they don’t play like they’ve already won the game. IRISH GIANTS BY 10

Select pulled off the rare “scored exactly as many points as we allowed in the the season” move which was pretty cool. Their two games with the Milkers tells the story of their season. Close but no cigar in the beginning of the year, but really coming on at the end of it. The Milkers have had some lopsided scores and continue to be inconsistent overall. That means that trying to gauge what they’re going to do is damn near impossible. But you know what you’re getting with Select. SELECT BY 3

GF vs GPT

 

AGAINST THE SPREAD

Topper's Super Computer: 18-10

The Godfather: 17-8-3

STRAIGHT UP

Topper's Super Computer: 23-5

The Godfather: 24-4

 

OVERALL SEASON

AGAINST THE SPREAD

Topper's Super Computer: 108-74-5

The Godfather: 99-80-8

STRAIGHT UP

Topper's Super Computer: 130-50-7

The Godfather: 124-56-7

 

THE TSC’S PICKS:

D1

#4 FREEBALLERS VS #5 EYES DOWNTOWN (+4) - FREEBALLERS BY 3

#2 THE MALONES VS #7 MAVERICKS (+17) - THE MALONES BY 22

#3 STICKY BANDITS VS #6 WHAT A DUMP (+18) - STICKY BANDITS BY 24

 

D2

#4 BUFFALO VICE VS #5 D-GENERATION XYZ (+3) - BUFFALO VICE BY 4

 

D3

Round One:

#8 PRACTICE SQUAD VS #9 TWO TUDDIES (+4) - PRACTICE SQUAD BY 6

Round Two:

#1 ISH VS #8 PRACTICE SQUAD (+14) - ISH BY 19

#2 BQI VS #7 WANDERERS (+10) - BQI BY 8

#3 BULLET CLUB VS #6 CUNNING STUNTS (+5) - BULLET CLUB BY 6

#4 GREY HAIR - DON'T CARE VS #5 LET'S GET RECCKED (-3) - LET'S GET RECCKED BY 2

 

D4

Round One:

#7 BALLS DEEP VS #10 FLYING BALLS (+6) - BALLS DEEP BY 9

#8 COBBLESTONE VS #9 SHOW ME YOUR TDS (+9) - COBBLESTONE BY 13

Round Two:

#1 MIKE'S DETAILING VS #8 COBBLESTONE (+9) - MIKE'S DETAILING BY 7

#2 PUCKETT VS #7 BALLS DEEP (+14) - PUCKETT BY 17

#3 COOCHIE MONSTERS VS #6 TATER TOTS (+3) - TATER TOTS BY 3

#4 POWERPUFF GIRLS VS #5 NOT SO STICKY (+2) - POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 1

 

D5

Round One:

#7 MO' CHICKEN VS #10 PIT HARADE (+4) - MO' CHICKEN BY 6

#8 WET BANDITS VS #9 SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS (+4) - WET BANDITS BY 5

Round Two:

#1 BLITZKRIEG VS #8 WET BANDITS (+7) - BLITZKRIEG BY 10

#2 CALL THE DOCTOR VS #7 MO' CHICKEN (+13) - CALL THE DOCTOR BY 15

#3 BIRDS OF WAR VS #6 COME FROM BEHIND (+15) - BIRDS OF WAR BY 21

#4 BLUE BALLERS VS #5 716ERS (+15) - BLUE BALLERS BY 19

 

D6

#3 IRISH GIANTS VS #6 STICKY LACES (+7) - IRISH GIANTS BY 10

#4 SELECT VS #5 RAW MILKERS (+2) - SELECT BY 3

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY: 

 

 

• Can you rank the #1 seeds from most vulnerable to least? Sure! That won’t cause any issues. Blitzkrieg, ISH, Mike’s Detailing, TMA, Legends, Can’t Touch This. 

 

 

 

• If you can’t choose any #1 seeds to win their divisions, who are you taking? The Malones, Frodo Swaggins, Bullet Club, Coochie Monsters, Birds of War, and Irish Giants. 

 

 

 

• Which low seed is most likely to still be playing on Championship Saturday? The 7th seeded Wanderers have the best shot at it. 

 

 

 

• Who has the most momentum coming into the playoffs in each division? That’s a fun one. I think it’s The Malones, Can’t Touch This, Bullet Club, Mike’s Detailing, Birds Of War, and TMA. 

 

 

 

• What is the one game you’d watch if you could only choose one? The answer has to be Coochie Monsters vs Tater Tots. That will be a fire fight. 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

-The weather is going to be hopefully perfect for you in Buffalo, just about 70 degrees and mostly sunny, although there might be a little bit of rain too, which is poetic given how the season has gone. 

 

-Breakfast Club predictions: 

 

• On A Rampaige 36, Water Under The Bridget 34

• Total CARnage 30, Fittsmagic 27

 

 

-I know that it’s the playoffs, but DON’T BE DICKS TO THE REFS. They have been instructed to kick you out of the game if they deem you to be a nuisance. Don’t put them in that situation. 

 

-Games of the Day

10:00 - Birds Of War vs Come From Behind

11:00 - Coochie Monsters vs Tater Tots

12:00 - The Malones vs Mavericks

1:00 - Freeballers vs Eyes Downtown

2:00 - PowerPuff Girls vs Not So Sticky

3:00 - Grey Hair Don’t Care vs Let’s Get Reccked

 

-Games absolutely will start ON TIME, and maybe even early if that can somehow happen. With the threat of overtime looming and backing up certain fields throughout the day, the league needs to keep things moving smoothly. 

-All of this talk about how hot Birds of War have been, and they’re just going to end up losing to Come From Behind anyway. 

 

-The Blue Ballers are going to show us that the last two weeks were a fluke

 

-Can’t Touch This is going to look pretty good in D1 next season. They can’t blow it again, right? 

 

-SIGN UP FOR THE WINE TOURNAMENT HERE: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1urBLH44_96Fkih8OhD4IkAFZUKmKdAs0vxERt0bC7x0/edit 

 

-Glory Fades, Chicks Dig Scars, Immortality Lasts Forever. 

-GF OUT

WEEK 7 THOUGHTS, PICKS, AND STUFF

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Category: The Godfather's Picks

Created: Friday, 05 June 2026 16:03

Published: Friday, 05 June 2026 16:03

Written by Topper

Hits: 694

Ladies and Gentlemen of the TSL Universe, on Saturday, June 6th, in the Year of Our Lord 2026, the TSL world will yet again descend upon the Rose Garden to partake in the Greatest Social Co-Ed Touch Football League in history. While it may seem like just another week before we ramp up the Race for Social Co-Ed Football Immortality (it’s “only” Week 7), the first weekend of June holds more significance to the TSL than any other time of the year. Why is that, you ask? 

 

It’s Lenny And Rameer Day. 

 

Well, it’s Lenny And Rameer Day (Observed). The only “Official” holiday in TSL history is June 4th, as it was named after a meeting by the TSL Supreme Court of Topper, Cookie Monster, B’s Brother, Punkin The Clown, Elmo, The Lead Singer Of the Mariachi Band, and Girl On Crack. June 4th, for those who do not know, is Lenny’s birthday. June 4th, for those who also do not know, is the day we lost Rameer. 

I understand that paragraph has a whole bunch of names that a good portion of the TSL doesn’t know. The league vets, of course, know all about each of those names. But as the league continues on and time passes, more and more TSLers appear, and they simply don’t know the lore of this place. Even from my log cabin here in Des Moines, Iowa, it irks me that there are TSLers that are going to wonder why there’s a wheel to spin, or an ice cream truck hanging out at the fields tomorrow, or whatever else the league has cooked up and they’re going to utter the words “Who are Lenny and Rameer?”. 

 

Simply put, Lenny and Rameer are the reasons you’re playing football tomorrow. 

 

Okay fine, Topper had something to do with it too. But the quick version is that the TSL was founded by Topper and Lenny. Lenny Alba was the TSL’s Commissioner For Life. Topper’s best friend and perhaps the most unique human being you’d ever come across. He was loud, boisterous, charismatic, and pretty much a cartoon character brought to life. He had the vision that football should be fun first, football second. Yes, he could be incredibly serious if you got on his bad side, but Lenny believed that everyone could be a character in the ever changing story that is the “TSL Universe”. He believed that people deserved second (and third, and fourth if they showed up in his music video idea) chances. He was a larger than life individual who made everyone he came in contact with feel special, like they were a part of something. That’s why he built his empire the way that he did: being ridiculous, getting me (and others) to write articles for the website, he took the TSL podcast and ran with it, he encouraged crazy bets on games, he did makeover videos for B’s Brother, he bought a 20 foot minion just because it popped into his head one time and you’re not going to not buy a 20 foot minion. Yes, he knew football, and yes he loved being a “consultant” for struggling teams while also helping lead Public Enemy to some of the greatest heights in Social Co-Ed Touch Football history. But he had just as much fun with the social aspect of this league, and did his best to make sure that even the worst player on the worst team in the league felt included and that they could be a character in Lenny’s world. 

 

And then there was the Yin to Lenny’s Yang, Rameer. 

 

If Lenny had a character flaw, it was that he was always going bigger and more ridiculous, mostly just to see if he could. However when you were running a Social Co-Ed Football Empire, that wasn’t always the best way to go. Topper and Lenny would have some disagreements on league matters because of this, and eventually they brought in Rameer as the “Third Man”. Rameer became the trusted deciding vote whenever Topper and Lenny couldn’t agree on important league matters such as rule changes, suspensions, which TSLers to put on the M&Ms at the banquet, where to get the next Cookie Monster costume from, which TSL female would make a better TSL Queen for Topper if they got married, what the perfect hair length is for Darryl Carr QB Superstar, and other various topics along the way. And also, they needed Rameer because both of them got sick of dealing with the referee scheduling, and more importantly the 10-200 people per Saturday that would come whine to them about how “unfair it was that a ref thought they stepped out of bounds when they super swear that they really didn’t and they lost because of that one single play and now their season and maybe career is over”. Lenny and Topper didn’t want to have to hear it, nor did they want to be mean. But Rameer did. 

Rameer was there to be the exact polar opposite of everything I said about Lenny. He had NO problem to immediately call you out on your bullshit. He didn’t really care about the “circus” aspect of the league that Lenny cultivated (Although underneath his damn near permanent scowl when it came to “Official League Nonsense”, you always got the feeling that he did like it, but he wouldn’t dare show it). Rameer was there to be “the bad guy”, and he played that role excellently. For a man who sure hated the “characters” Lenny would make, he had no problem being the “enforcer” character anyway. 

Don’t get it twisted, Rameer LOVED the TSL as much as anyone else. He just went about it in a different way. As fun as Lenny’s loud, in your face, ridiculous style existed to keep people included in that way (and to keep himself entertained, sure), Rameer sat back and observed people. Rameer had absolutely no problem walking up to a random TSLer he didn’t know and saying ‘who the hell are you?’ and introducing himself. Or he’d notice that maybe there was someone sitting by themselves at the bar, perhaps overwhelmed by “the circus”, and he’d walk over to them and talk to that person, realizing that not everyone wants to be a part of “the show”. Rameer would make you feel included by genuinely getting to know you, asking you questions about your life, telling you to play Breakfast Club and then drafting you so you met more people but you at least had ONE person you knew on the team. If you seemed “off” on a random day, he’d make sure to check in with you as soon as he felt different vibes (before ‘vibes’ was a thing people said regularly). 

Lenny and Rameer were two sides of the same coin. At the end of the day they both wanted the same things for the TSL: to create a family-like culture where everyone who steps on those fields felt included. Like they were a part of something. The paths they both took to achieve that goal simply could not have been more different. But that’s what made it work so well. Yes, there were definitely times that they wanted to kill each other, and they’d both probably scoff at hearing how alike they were at their core, but this league simply wouldn’t have been what it became if it didn’t have both of them in it. 

When Lenny unexpectedly passed away in 2019, Rameer was there to step up and do his best to assume the role of “#2” in the TSL. The loss of Lenny was absolutely massive in terms of the league. Things were adjusting well, and then it was discovered that Rameer had cancer. And the world was shutting down because of Covid at nearly the same time. Despite his fight (because there was ZERO way that man wouldn’t fight it), Rameer would pass away on June 4th, Lenny’s birthday. 

Coincidence? Yeah, sure, maybe. 

But the symbolism there does not go unnoticed by the legion of TSLers out there that were lucky enough to know two of the greatest people that ever lived. 

When you step on the field this Saturday, whether you knew them personally or not, do what they would’ve done: talk to someone new, make a new friend. And most importantly, try to take a moment to look at the world around you. People playing football, the sound of a whistle, the cheers from a great play. Just for a second, take a deep breath and whisper “thank you”. 

 

They’re listening. 

D1

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

STICKY BANDITS 40, EYES DOWNTOWN 33

 

LEGENDS 23, STICKY BANDITS 19

 

THE MALONES 61, MAVERICKS 39

 

D1 keeps getting more interesting. The Legends stayed perfect, The Malones dropped 61 and officially forced everyone to stop calling them a nice story, and Sticky Bandits split a brutal doubleheader by beating Eyes Downtown before falling just short against Legends. The Mavericks are still winless, but they are at least losing in ways that make you think they can ruin someone's day soon.

 

THIS WEEK'S GAMES:

 

MAVERICKS VS WHAT A DUMP (+4) - At some point the Mavericks are going to win a football game. They're 0-4, but unlike a lot of 0-4 teams, they haven't looked hopeless. They nearly came back against both the Legends and Sticky Bandits before running into a Malones offense that appears to have been assembled in a laboratory. Meanwhile, What A Dump continues to exist in a strange limbo where nobody is quite sure how good they are because they seem to play about once every presidential administration. Somebody has to get a much-needed win here, and the Mavericks finally get it done. MAVERICKS BY 6. 

 

LEGENDS VS WHAT A DUMP (+14) - WAD has only played 3 games so far this season, which gives them two weeks to get 5 games in. I’m assuming that the Mavericks game that was postponed ends up in a tie, but who knows? It’s been a season to forget so far for What A Dump, and while they technically would be able to “turn things around” if they sweep their doubleheader this week (including a fun wrinkle where they have two games left against the Legends, but they’re just going to count the results of this game twice) I’m not sure they’ve worked out whatever is ailing them just yet. LEGENDS BY 14

 

FREEBALLERS VS STICKY BANDITS (+3) - Here’s one people didn’t have on their Spring season bingo card: The Sticky Bandits are GETTING points against the Freeballers. It makes sense - The Freeballers have the better record and they won against Sticky earlier in the year, even in a monsoon. Things have been going quite well for the Freeballers this season, but they’re due for a hiccup, right? STICKY BANDITS BY 6

 

THE MALONES VS EYES DOWNTOWN (+8) - There was a time in the TSL when Eyes Downtown would easily be the favorites here against The Malones, but boy have the times changed. ED has the horses to turn things around, and historically they do. The only problem is that they’re running into a buzzsaw of epic proportions right now. THE MALONES BY 12

 

EYES DOWNTOWN VS MAVERICKS (+5) - The Mavericks are THIS close to getting it together and pulling off a win, Malones massacre aside. Eyes Downtown are about as vulnerable as they’ve ever been, which is still weird to say. If there’s one thing Lenny would want, it’s a little chaos. MAVERICKS BY 2

 

D2

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

CAN'T TOUCH THIS 45, BUFFALO VICE 6

 

CAN'T TOUCH THIS 45, D-GENERATION XYZ 25

 

JABRONIES 29, FRODO SWAGGINS 25

 

Can't Touch This continues to look like the class of D2, and they did nothing last week to change that. The Jabronies survived Frodo, which matters more than it looks because Frodo is still weird enough to make every game stressful. Buffalo Vice is still searching for its first win, and DXYZ continues to look better than its record while still not getting enough actual results.

 

THIS WEEK'S GAMES:

 

CAN'T TOUCH THIS VS FRODO SWAGGINS (+12) - Can’t Touch This couldn’t be more on cruise control at this point. That MIGHT mean Frodo can catch them sleeping a little, but to be able to get a jump on them and keep the lead is a task I don’t think they’re capable of. They DO turn some heads in D2 when they keep it close though. CAN’T TOUCH THIS BY 8

 

D-GENERATION XYZ VS BUFFALO VICE (+4) - It’s not great here, as the only win for either team here comes from the game they played against each other that DXYZ won. DXYZ struggles to score as the young Keller QB is still developing, which many people forget. There were always going to be some growing pains. They’ll see some progress from this brutal season today. D-GENERATION XYZ BY 10

 

FRODO SWAGGINS VS BUFFALO VICE (+3) - There’s not much to say here, Vice is also going through the growing pains that come with jumping up to D2, arguably before they were really ready to. They’re definitely another top tier male and another stud female to going along with All-World TSL Talent Caitlyn Mason for them to really compete. I hope that they stay in D2, and in doing so, acquire the talent needed to make them more competitive. The bones are there, they just need a few tweaks. FRODO SWAGGINS BY 9

D3

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

INTERSPACIAL SQUALLING HARRIERS 21, LET'S GET RECCKED 0 (FORFEIT)

 

INTERSPACIAL SQUALLING HARRIERS 22, BQI 16

 

BULLET CLUB 30, GREY HAIR - DON'T CARE 22

 

BULLET CLUB 67, TWO TUDDIES 14

ISH is still unbeaten, and beating BQI was their biggest statement yet, unless you count making LGR so terrified of them they had to forfeit. Bullet Club may have had the strongest week in the division, especially after hanging 67 on Two Tuddies. BQI is still very much alive in the title picture, Grey Hair remains annoying, and D3 somehow continues to get more confusing as the playoffs get closer.

 

THIS WEEK'S GAMES:

 

LET'S GET RECCKED VS WANDERERS (+6) - The Wanderers finally get to play football again after some time off, and they’re looking for their first win of the season. LGR seemed to be a team on the rise, although forfeiting doesn’t help that continue very much. The Wanderers’ little break helps them reset just before the playoffs. WANDERERS BY 1

 

BULLET CLUB VS PRACTICE SQUAD (+10) - Bullet Club gets another double header, and while they start off against a Practice Squad team that’s been struggling that doesn’t mean it’ll be a cake walk for them. Practice Squad could be catching BC at the right time as they’re coming off making the Two Tuddies look like the Three Tuddies, and could be looking ahead to the Stunts game later that day. Except historically, these two teams have this game circled on their schedule, so I don’t think that will be the case, especially on Lenny and Rameer Day. BULLET CLUB BY 7

 

BULLET CLUB VS CUNNING STUNTS (+4) - There’s a chance that right now the Stunts’ 2-0-2 record is a little misleading. One of the ties was a rainout tie against ISH. Their other three games were against the bottom three teams in the division. They tied the Wanderers, and blew out the Tuddies and Practice Squad. They haven’t quite played anyone who’s been playing well yet this season, and that may come with a little bit of a rough start to the hardest part of their schedule. BULLET CLUB BY 4

 

BQI VS GREY HAIR - DON'T CARE (+8) - One of these teams feels like they’re a bit of “smoke and mirrors” and the other one is for real. And I’m not sure which is which. This should be a close game overall, but BQI pulls it out in the end. BQI BY 4

 

BQI VS CUNNING STUNTS (+6) - BQI negates the biggest advantage the Stunts have, as they always get an 8 point TD as well. This should be a chess match of sorts, and it’ll come down to which defense makes a play first. I think it’ll be BQI. BQI BY 2

 

ISH VS GREY HAIR - DON'T CARE (+9) - ISH is rolling. Grey Hair is looking like a “pretender” in “contenders” clothing. I’m not sure anyone can beat ISH anyway. ISH BY 12

 

TWO TUDDIES VS PRACTICE SQUAD (+5) - A battle of two teams who have everything going wrong for them. Both can really use a win of any type at this point. I expect both teams to go hard for the win. PRACTICE SQUAD BY 3

 

D4

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

BALLS DEEP 34, SHOW ME YOUR TDS 16

PUCKETT 46, TATER TOTS 31

COOCHIE MONSTERS 27, NOT SO STICKY 21

POWERPUFF GIRLS 34, COBBLESTONE 18

NOT SO STICKY 33, TATER TOTS 15

POWERPUFF GIRLS 28, SHOW ME YOUR TDS 24

MIKE'S DETAILING 36, FLYING BALLS 12

SHOW ME YOUR TDS 17, FLYING BALLS 15

 

D4 was chaos again. Puckett stayed undefeated, but Tater Tots at least proved someone can score on them. Not So Sticky had a massive week by beating Coochie Monsters and Tater Tots, PowerPuff Girls quietly swept their doubleheader, and Show Me Your TDs finally got into the win column. Flying Balls, meanwhile, have officially entered emergency meeting territory.

 

THIS WEEK'S GAMES:

 

TATER TOTS VS SHOW ME YOUR TDS (+11) -  So the Tots didn’t beat Puckett, but they sure did give them something to think about. Now they get SMYTDs, who finally got into the win column and have shown some improvement. They’re getting better, but I don’t think they’re on the Tots’ level just yet. TATER TOTS BY 18

 

MIKE'S DETAILING VS BALLS DEEP (+6) - Balls Deep has been rolling, but so has Mike’s Detailing. This gives us a heck of a game, and a measuring stick to see just how close to (or far off) Balls Deep is to the championship contenders. BD should give them a run, but in the end I suspect we’ll see MIKE’S DETAILING BY 9

 

NOT SO STICKY VS FLYING BALLS (+8) - Not So Sticky inserted themselves into the championship contender status after a week that showed them beating the Tots and pushing the Coochies to the limit. Meanwhile the Flying Balls are in disarray and are starting to wonder if they were too confident in jumping up to D4. They’re talented enough to figure it out. It just might be next season when they do. NOT SO STICKY BY 12

 

PUCKETT VS MIKE'S DETAILING (+4) - Here’s your potential Game of the Day between two of the best teams in the division. If anyone is going to derail Puckett, it’s going to be MD. But as of right now, I don’t think anyone can. PUCKETT BY 10

 

COBBLESTONE VS FLYING BALLS (+3) - If the Flying Balls are going to win a game, this is going to have to be it. The problem is that Cobblestone still has a TON of experience, and that goes a long way in this joint. COBBLESTONE BY 8

 

COOCHIE MONSTERS VS POWERPUFF GIRLS (+7) - Another interesting test for the Coochies as they get a whole bunch flying at them in the form of the PPGs, who are starting to click a bit at the right time. A win here would shake up the division even more. POWERPUFF GIRLS BY 1

 

PUCKETT VS COBBLESTONE (+14) - This might be like purposely watching a car speed through a pet shop. PUCKETT BY 20

 

D5

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

 

BLITZKRIEG 27, WET BANDITS 12

CALL THE DOCTOR 21, SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS 6

WET BANDITS 33, PIT HARADE 32

BLUE BALLERS 64, SBG 0

BIRDS OF WAR 58, SBG 0

COME FROM BEHIND 39, PIT HARADE 12

COME FROM BEHIND 31, MO' CHICKEN 31

BIRDS OF WAR 48, 716ERS 13

 

D5 remains the division of offensive violence. Blue Ballers scored 64, Blitzkrieg stayed unbeaten, Call the Doctor kept rolling, and Birds of War had a monster week with two huge wins. Wet Bandits continue to be impossible to explain, Come From Behind had a solid week despite the tie with Mo' Chicken, and SBG had the kind of Saturday you delete from the group chat.

 

THIS WEEK'S GAMES:

 

BLUE BALLERS VS MO' CHICKEN (+16) - The good news for Mo' Chicken is that they've looked more competitive lately. The bad news is that their reward for that improvement is getting the most explosive offense in the TSL. Blue Ballers have scored 52, 50, 42, 51, and 64 in their five wins, and they're starting to separate themselves as one of the league's true heavyweights. Mo' Chicken has enough offense to keep this from becoming a complete disaster, but asking them to keep pace for an entire game is another story entirely. BLUE BALLERS BY 30 

 

SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS VS PIT HARADE (+2) - Old rivals meet up in this one as neither team has had a season to be proud of so far. I know that anything can happen in the playoffs, but as of right now these teams are looking like speed bumps on other teams’ road to the title. Both teams have shown signs of life recently though, so it’ll be interesting to see who wants this one more. I’ll flip a coin. PIT HARADE BY 3

 

COME FROM BEHIND VS WET BANDITS (+3) - The Wet Bandits are starting to emerge as a consistent threat each week, and now they get a team they may not match up too well against in Come From Behind. IF CFB is on, they should have no real trouble here. COME FROM BEHIND BY 7

 

MO' CHICKEN VS SBG (+7) - SBG might actually stand for “Stop Bullying, Godfather!” but at this point I’m just saying it needs to stand for “Start Being Good”, because they simply are not right now. Mo’ Chicken is a bit all over the place as usual, and they were essentially SBG only a couple of seasons ago. MO’ CHICKEN BY 18

 

CALL THE DOCTOR VS 716ERS (+6) - The 716ers’ finally got beat up a bit after a good start, and it’ll be interesting to see how they respond to that. As of right now, they’re not on the same level as CTD. CALL THE DOCTOR BY 10

 

BLUE BALLERS VS BIRDS OF WAR (+9) - Hey, here's a good one. The Blue Ballers have decimated everyone they’ve played so far, and Birds of War are really starting to figure things out themselves. This is a top tier matchup. If anyone can handle the Blue Ballers, it might be BOW. But that’s still a tall order. BLUE BALLERS BY 3 AND THEY DON’T SCORE OVER 50 POINTS

 

D6

 

LAST WEEK’S GAMES

TMA 18, RAW MILKERS 13

 

TMA 34, STICKY LACES 14

 

INTENTIONAL CLOWNING 22, SELECT 8

 

INTENTIONAL CLOWNING 27, IRISH GIANTS 24

 

SELECT 33, STICKY LACES 15

 

D6 is now basically Intentional Clowning and TMA staring at each other from across the room. IC stayed undefeated, TMA went 2-0 and continues to get less attention than they deserve, and Select finally broke through with a win over Sticky Laces. The Irish Giants are still dangerous, but the consistency just hasn't been there.

THIS WEEK'S GAMES:

 

INTENTIONAL CLOWNING VS TMA (+5) - BIG GAME ALERT. Clowning has already beaten TMA this season back in the beginning of the season. Since then, both teams have won all of their games and have positioned themselves as the favorites to meet in the D6 championship game. This should be fun to hear about. TMA BY 1

 

RAW MILKERS VS SELECT (+3) - The bottom two teams in this division meet up in what I can only assume will be a fun game. Why? The Raw Milkers are still all over the place, so you never know what you’re going to get, which is fun and exciting. And Select just continues to improve week by week, which can only mean good things for them too. SELECT BY 8

GF vs GPT

WEEK 6

AGAINST THE SPREAD

Topper's Super Computer: 20-10-1

The Godfather: 15-15-1

STRAIGHT UP

Topper's Super Computer: 24-6-1

The Godfather: 23-7-1

 

OVERALL SEASON

AGAINST THE SPREAD

Topper's Super Computer: 75-50-4

The Godfather: 67-58-4

STRAIGHT UP

Topper's Super Computer: 88-34-7

The Godfather: 82-40-7

 

THE GPT'S PICKS

MAVERICKS VS WHAT A DUMP (+

LEGENDS VS WHAT A DUMP (+14) - LEGENDS BY 18

FREEBALLERS VS STICKY BANDITS (+3) - FREEBALLERS BY 4

THE MALONES VS EYES DOWNTOWN (+8) - THE MALONES BY 10

EYES DOWNTOWN VS MAVERICKS (+5) - EYES DOWNTOWN BY 6

CAN'T TOUCH THIS VS FRODO SWAGGINS (+12) - CAN'T TOUCH THIS BY 14

D-GENERATION XYZ VS BUFFALO VICE (+4) - D-GENERATION XYZ BY 6

FRODO SWAGGINS VS BUFFALO VICE (+3) - FRODO SWAGGINS BY 5

LET'S GET RECCKED VS WANDERERS (+6) - LET'S GET RECCKED BY 7

BULLET CLUB VS PRACTICE SQUAD (+10) - BULLET CLUB BY 18

BULLET CLUB VS CUNNING STUNTS (+4) - BULLET CLUB BY 3

BQI VS GREY HAIR - DON'T CARE (+8) - BQI BY 9

BQI VS CUNNING STUNTS (+6) - BQI BY 4

ISH VS GREY HAIR - DON'T CARE (+9) - ISH BY 11

TWO TUDDIES VS PRACTICE SQUAD (+5) - TWO TUDDIES BY 7

TATER TOTS VS SHOW ME YOUR TDS (+11) - TATER TOTS BY 14

MIKE'S DETAILING VS BALLS DEEP (+6) - MIKE'S DETAILING BY 7

NOT SO STICKY VS FLYING BALLS (+8) - NOT SO STICKY BY 11

PUCKETT VS MIKE'S DETAILING (+4) - PUCKETT BY 6

COBBLESTONE VS FLYING BALLS (+3) - COBBLESTONE BY 4

COOCHIE MONSTERS VS POWERPUFF GIRLS (+7) - COOCHIE MONSTERS BY 8

PUCKETT VS COBBLESTONE (+14) - PUCKETT BY 19

BLUE BALLERS VS MO' CHICKEN (+16) - BLUE BALLERS BY 21

SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS VS PIT HARADE (+2) - SAUSAGE MCMUFFINS BY 3

COME FROM BEHIND VS WET BANDITS (+3) - COME FROM BEHIND BY 4

MO' CHICKEN VS SBG (+7) - MO' CHICKEN BY 10

CALL THE DOCTOR VS 716ERS (+6) - CALL THE DOCTOR BY 8

BLUE BALLERS VS BIRDS OF WAR (+9) - BLUE BALLERS BY 12

INTENTIONAL CLOWNING VS TMA (+5) - INTENTIONAL CLOWNING BY 3

RAW MILKERS VS SELECT (+3) - SELECT BY 1

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

• 716ers are 3-2-1 but have faced the third-easiest schedule in D5. Call the Doctor at 1pm is their first real test against a team with a winning record and a positive differential. Do the 716ers belong in the D5 conversation? I don’t think so. At least not yet. As much as I like to point out just how much the regular season doesn’t matter, i think in D5, it really does. The gap between the “haves” and “have nots” continues to grow by the week there. 

 

 

• Intentional Clowning and TMA are 5-0 and 5-1, and they meet at 10am Saturday in what is almost certainly a D6 playoff preview. IC won the first meeting 24-10. Has TMA closed the gap, or is IC still on a different level in this division? The gap is closed I’d say. These two teams have played close games in the past, and they’re not too far off from each other, especially when both are rolling, which they are right now. Either of these two could be considered ‘favorites’ for the D6 title. 

 

 

 

• The Wanderers have scored 24.3 points per game this season. They are 0-5-1. They face Let's Get Reccked at noon on Saturday in arguably the most winnable game left on their schedule. Is this finally the week the Wanderers get off the mat? Well, I picked them to win, so yeah, I think so. It’s time for the Wanderers to get it together and make a run. Pulling out a win to get things moving in the right direction seems to be a good start to that. 

 

 

 

• What about Practice Squad? Another historically good franchise is still winless, and they have two games this week. Is this the week they finally get a win (or two)? I don’t think I’d bet on them winning both games, as Bullet Club has been playing very, very well as of late. But you know who hasn’t? The Two Tuddies. They’ve had a “season from hell” of sorts so far, and they’re ripe for the picking. No way does B drop that type of game. Right? 

 

 

 

• Can What A Dump survive two games against Legends without becoming a missing persons report? We’ve already printed their photos on the milk cartons. However, despite originally having two games against the Legends this week, that is no longer the case. The only thing that’s gone right for them this season is smartly not playing the Legends twice and just having this game count for both. Genius move. 

 

 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

• It’s Lenny and Rameer Day. Stick around after your game. Have a drink. Partake in the fun. Make a new friend. 

 

• Despite the most perfect day for football last week, this week seems to be not as great for TSL football with some Thunderstorms allegedly coming through by the end of the day. I for one will hope that Lenny and Rameer work their magic for us up there and keep the skies clear. 

 

• Breakfast Club Predictions: 
• Water Under The Bridget 30, Steph Infection 17
• Total CARnage 27, Megoonsta’s 24
• On A Rampaige 33, Fittsmagic 31

 

• Games of the Day: 
• 10:00 - Intentional Clowning vs TMA
• 11:00 - Freeballers vs Sticky Bandits
• 12:00 - Bullet Club vs Practice Squad
• 1:00 - Mike’s Detailing vs Puckett
• 2:00 - Eyes Downtown vs Mavericks
• 3:00 - BQI vs Cunning Stunts

 

• It’s good to see Show Me Your TDs pull off the big win and to see them scoring some points. I was getting worried there. 

 

• It’s been interesting seeing The TSC learn about the league through the bowels of Topper’s laptop and what it’s been coming up with. If you haven’t read it’s transmissions yet, you can do so right here: (https://tsl716.com/index.php/the-sentinel)

 

• The TSL Podcasts have been chugging along as well, and if you’d like to be a guest on the show, feel free to ask Joe K, Krol, Dorene, Tino, or really anyone who can point you in the right direction to make that happen! 

 

• If you don’t agree with anything you see here, please email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and explain to me exactly why that is. I’m all ears. 

 

• If Lenny were here today, he’d have already rented a Steel Cage bounce house for Bobby vs Andrew this week. Bobby would wipe the floor with him, by the way. 

 

• There should be an ice cream truck, some TSL celebrities, a wheel to spin, and various other fun things to celebrate Lenny and Rameer. Don’t miss out and make sure to tell everyone you know about it! 

 

-GF OUT