It’s crazy to think that after a ridiculously long summer where we painstakingly waited for the start of the Fall season, we’re already staring Week 4 dead in the face. After this week, we end up on the downslope of the season, as October and the start of the Race For Social Co-Ed Touch Football Immortality will be able to be seen in the distance. This league moves way too fast, which tracks because time flies when you’re having fun or whatever, right? Well, most of us are having fun anyway. The Malones are definitely not having fun this season. Let’s Get Reccked is absolutely not having fun this season. Cobblestone may or may not be having fun this season but it’s always hard to tell because I’m never really sure who’s been here “this season” compared to “just this week”. I’d Rather Be Golfing isn’t having fun this time around and would probably rather be golfing. Blitzed and Confused has been playing true to their namesake, but perhaps they’re kind of having fun? It’s hard to tell. 

 

Other teams are definitely having super amounts of fun, like the Sticky Bandits, for instance. 3-0, perched on top of D1 for now. Bullet Club is having fun in the “New D2”. Grey Hair is continuing the fun in D3. Not So Sticky and the Thots are having a ball. Victorious Secret are the only team that’s super having fun but lost a game (They’re 3-1). The Raw Milkers are having super amounts of fun. 

 

Breakfast Club is fun. 

 

Everyone else is having different levels of fun but fun nonetheless. This is a fun league after all. 

 

You know what else is fun? Predictions. 

D1

 

The battle of the unbeatens went to Sticky, who edged Eyes Downtown 28-25 to grab sole possession of the D1 throne for now, but they had to do it against a Bobby-less ED.  Can't Touch This finally got in the win column, and doesn't that feel overdue? I told you 0-2 was a lie.. The Malones, meanwhile, drop to 0-3 and the alarm bells are officially deafening. And the Freeballers came crashing back to Earth in the worst way - Going 0-2 in the doubleheader with losses to the Legends AND Frodo, going from 66-point darlings to a very humbling Saturday. It’s very clearly Buddy Lee’s fault for not showing up. And like we figured, the Legends are rounding into form, so good luck everyone else. .

EYES DOWNTOWN VS THE MALONES (+10) - The Malones are definitely in trouble and it’s hard to imagine that they’ll dig themselves out of it having to play the defending champions. Sometimes teams just have lost seasons, and this might just be their turn. Malones vs Everybody has become Malones vs Themselves. EYES DOWNTOWN BY 17

LEGENDS VS EYES DOWNTOWN (+1) - An absolute world class barnburner could be in store here. The Legends definitely didn’t forget about the 33-16 Week 1 loss, and they very rarely lose to the same team more than once in a season. They learn from their mistakes. LEGENDS BY 2

 

D2

 

Bullet Club is looking like the best team in this division after a  2-0 week, with wins over The System and DXYZ, and they're now a perfect 4-0 on the season. BQI keeps pace by handling LGR pretty easily. 

BQI VS THE SYSTEM (+6) - The System may need to work out some kinks sooner rather than later as the preseason favorites are starting to fall behind the other contenders in the division. Kicak usually has them playing a bit better than this. Meanwhile Bridget continues to find her form and settle in as BQI seems locked in. BQI BY 3

THE SYSTEM VS LET'S GET RECCKED (+7) - For as discombobulated as The System feels like they are, LGR just is. It hasn’t been a banner year for this squad and that may just come down to getting the new players more acclimated with Seth. But for now, they’re the wounded zebra by a pack of Lions, and The System are licking their chops. THE SYSTEM BY 12

 

D3

 

Darryl Carr QB Superstar did everything he could in the 64 - 42 track meet between Cunning Stunts and Cobblestone, but fell short as the Stunts went 2-0 on the day and suddenly look like a real problem. Grey Hair kept right on rolling, hanging 44 on Practice Squad to stay perfect and atop the division, still not caring, still winning. 

 

GREY HAIR - DON'T CARE VS BUFFALO VICE (+14) - GHDC continues running through the division and have the good people of Buffalo Vice in their way next. I’ll be honest, it’s hard to really judge Vice this season. They forfeited, they got a forfeit win, and then they lost to Practice Squad by a point. It’s hard to really figure out who they are this season, and I’m sure it’s frustrating for them too. We’ll learn a lot this week. GREY HAIR - DON’T CARE BY 9

 COBBLESTONE VS PRACTICE SQUAD (+1) -  If that’s the Cobblestone team for realsies, Darryl Carr QB Superstar might be staring down the barrel of his first Darryl Carr QB Superstar QB of the Year award in quite some time at the banquet. B will be there to stand in his way, but right now it doesn’t seem like they’d be able to hang with Darryl’s squad. COBBLESTONE BY 3

CUNNING STUNTS VS MIKE'S DETAILING (+5) - The real answer to “Who are Mike’s Detailing this season?” will show up today as they get the litmus test that is the Stunts. Like Vice, Mike’s D has had a weird season with a forfeit win, a weird 1 point win against the CobbleBallers, and GHDC blew them out. If they Stunts (who are on a roll) walk all over them, there’s going to be a lot of work to do here. If not? D3 just got more interesting. CUNNING STUNTS BY 8

 

 

D4

 

Balls Deep bounced back to knock off the Coochie Monsters 21-14, because in this division there are no easy buckets. Not So Sticky survived an absolute thriller over the PowerPuff Girls, 37-36, to stay perfect and keep themselves atop the standings. The Skeleton Crew got in the win column handling Golfing, and the Tater Thots ground out a gritty 22-18 win over Two Tuddies. D4 is a lot of fun to watch, but probably stressful to play in.

NOT SO STICKY VS SKELETON CREW (+3) - Sticky Lite vs Wanderers Lite. A fun little matchup that almost feels like a spinoff show of sorts. The Crew got on the board with a win over Golfing, but now they get to jump up the standings to play the top team in the division. It’s going to suck for them. NOT SO STICKY BY 14

COOCHIE MONSTERS VS FLYING BALLS (+6) - The Coochie Monsters looked great, and they looked not so great against Balls Deep. They get a Flying Balls team that still has some things to figure out this season themselves, so it’ll come down to which team gets a handle on it sooner. COOCHIE MONSTERS BY 8

GREAT VALUE TATER THOTS VS BLUE BALLERS (+5) - The Blue Ballers are apparently without their QB for the next few weeks as Phil The Thrill is off getting some sort of super secret Stem Cell injections to make him even more dominant during games. Unfortunately for the Ballers, they get a much better than very good Thots team who is chomping at the bit to get another win. GREAT VALUE TATER THOTS BY 16

SKELETON CREW VS BALLS DEEP (+8) - Balls Deep continues to get no respect from the oddsmakers, but you can see why. They’re 2-2 with a negative 29 point differential. It’s hard to get a true handle on a Bi-Polar team like this, but perhaps they’re on their way to figuring things out completely. BALLS DEEP BY 3

FLYING BALLS VS TWO TUDDIES (+4) - The Flying Balls get the Tud Buds in their second game, and the Tuddies are still a bit of a mystery on who they are this season. By all accounts they looked good against the Thots, and if they play that way here, they should walk away with the win. TWO TUDDIES BY 11

I'D RATHER BE GOLFING VS TWO TUDDIES (+1) - The Tuddies are better than Golfing. Golfing has some real work to do. TWO TUDDIES BY 18

D5

 

Victorious Secret just put up 70 points with ease against the Wet Bandits, and they are rolling!  But before that, the shocker of the week belonged to the same Wet Bandits, who knocked off TMA 22-16. TMA, the team that beat VS earlier this season. D5 is stupid. In other news, Pit Harade demolished the 716ers by 42, and Room 40 snuck past CFB for their first win. D5 is now the only division where everyone has at least one win and one loss. 

BLITZKRIEG VS COME FROM BEHIND (+4) - Blitzkrieg looks to continue rocking along as they get a CFB team that hasn’t had a great couple of weeks due to some iffy personnel issues. They’re still in the games, so when the team all shows up, look out D5. But for right now BK just feels a bit more stable (which tracks, have you met Molly?). BLITZKRIEG BY 9

TMA VS 716ERS (+10) - The 716ers had quite the rough go at it last week against Pit Harade, and now they get a TMA team that just puked all over themselves in a loss to the Wet Bandits. Usually that means TMA gets it together and takes out their frustrations on their next opponent. TMA BY 7

ROOM 40 VS 716ERS (+1) - Room 40 popped into the win column last week, and they’re looking to keep the good vibes going. The only problem is that they’ll be getting a 716ers team that has been pretty good other than last week’s anomaly. Guessing they lose to TMA is one thing, Room 40 is another. 716ERS BY 8

PIT HARADE VS WET BANDITS (+10) - Pit Harade put up an impressive 48-6 win last week that makes me think the top two teams in D5 wear pink. The Wet Bandits did get the nice win over TMA, but that good karma was decimated by VS later on. I’ll take the hotter team here. PIT HARADE BY 9

 

D6

 

Select is officially the hottest team in D6 not named the Raw Milkers with a nice win over Sticky Laces. SBG got their first W and did it emphatically, shutting out Blitzed and Confused 31-0. Blitzed and Confused are struggling pretty hard so far this season but there’s still time. The Bengay Bandits bounced back nicely from their own shutout loss, handling Cat-Tastrophe 28-8.

SELECT VS RAW MILKERS (+1) - BIG GAME ALERT! Select and the Raw Milkers are here to battle for D6 supremacy, as the winner will move into 1st in the division. Well, the Milkers would stay there, but you get it. Both teams are ranked in the Top 10 of the TSL rankings system, and this should be a doozy. Standings chaos reigns. SELECT BY 10

BENGAY BANDITS VS SBG (+4) - Don’t look now but SBG might be waking up. They might be just as good as the BBs. They turn a lot of “mights” into definites this week. SBG BY 3

CAT-TASTROPHE VS BLITZED AND CONFUSED (+6) - The Trophes have been solid so far and it’s clear that they’ve played football before. Allegedly so have BAC, but you’d be hard pressed to believe it. CAT-TASTROPHE BY 3

IRISH GIANTS VS BLITZED AND CONFUSED (+15) - And it doesn’t get better for BAC, getting the Irish Giants up next and they’ve been well rested for this game. IRISH GIANTS BY 14

 

TSC VS THE GODFATHER

LAST WEEK'S RESULTS:

The Godfather: 12-8 SU, 12-8 ATS
The TSC: 8-12 SU, 8-12 ATS

SEASON:

The Godfather: 43-19-1 SU, 38-24-1 ATS
The TSC: 32-30-1 SU, 27-35-1 ATS

THE TSC'S PICKS:

D1
EYES DOWNTOWN VS THE MALONES (+10) -- EYES DOWNTOWN BY 13
LEGENDS VS EYES DOWNTOWN (+1) -- EYES DOWNTOWN BY 2

D2
BQI VS THE SYSTEM (+6) -- BQI BY 9
THE SYSTEM VS LET'S GET RECCKED (+7) -- THE SYSTEM BY 4

D3
GREY HAIR - DON'T CARE VS BUFFALO VICE (+14) -- GREY HAIR - DON'T CARE BY 17
COBBLESTONE VS PRACTICE SQUAD (+1) -- PRACTICE SQUAD BY 3
CUNNING STUNTS VS MIKE'S DETAILING (+5) -- CUNNING STUNTS BY 7

D4
NOT SO STICKY VS SKELETON CREW (+3) -- NOT SO STICKY BY 5
COOCHIE MONSTERS VS FLYING BALLS (+6) -- COOCHIE MONSTERS BY 3
GREAT VALUE TATER THOTS VS BLUE BALLERS (+5) -- BLUE BALLERS BY 1
SKELETON CREW VS BALLS DEEP (+8) -- BALLS DEEP BY 2
FLYING BALLS VS TWO TUDDIES (+4) -- FLYING BALLS BY 6
I'D RATHER BE GOLFING VS TWO TUDDIES (+1) -- TWO TUDDIES BY 2

D5
BLITZKRIEG VS COME FROM BEHIND (+4) -- BLITZKRIEG BY 6
TMA VS 716ERS (+10) -- TMA BY 13
ROOM 40 VS 716ERS (+1) -- 716ERS BY 2
PIT HARADE VS WET BANDITS (+10) -- PIT HARADE BY 14

D6
SELECT VS RAW MILKERS (+1) -- SELECT BY 3
BENGAY BANDITS VS SBG (+4) -- BENGAY BANDITS BY 6
CAT-TASTROPHE VS BLITZED AND CONFUSED (+6) -- CAT-TASTROPHE BY 8
IRISH GIANTS VS BLITZED AND CONFUSED (+15) -- IRISH GIANTS BY 18

 

FIVE QUESTIONS FOR SATURDAY

 

Are we going to do anything about the dips in Field 3? While Field 3 might have a few “nuances” to it, it’s not that different than the other fields. If anyone knows someone that wants to roll the fields, let the League Office know

 

Bullet Club is 4-0 and winning games by a wide margin. Are they the best team in D2? Bullet Club has certainly come out of the gate hot, knocking off everyone in the division besides LGR so far. BQI and PWI can’t wait for another shot at them. As of right now BC is on top of the mountain, but any of those 3 teams could be considered “best”. 

 

Can't Touch This finally got their first D1 win, do they go on a run? There’s nothing quite like getting the monkey off your back and losing the stress of having to get that “first win” in D1. That should let CTT relax just ever so slightly, which should only propel them to more wins. D1 continues to be loads of fun. 

 

Cunning Stunts just went 2-0 including a 64-point outburst. Did we underrate them, or is that a D3 mirage? Everyone knows how good the Stunts can be, just sometimes it takes them a second to get going. But once they do (and I believe they have) look out. They’re a collection of some of the most talented women in the league with Joey Batts at QB who is one of the smartest people to ever do it. At least that's what he tells me. 

 

We've got Legends-Eyes Downtown AND Select-Raw Milkers this week, which one are you circling hardest? Both games are must watch for sure, but right now it feels like Select - Milkers just means more, so that might be the game to pay attention to more. 

TEN FINAL THOUGHTS FOR SATURDAY

 

-We’re just about halfway through the season yet somehow we still have three teams with only one game played. Those teams will more than likely factor into the playoff race and shake up  where we THINK we’re headed currently.

 

-The overrated: Freeballers, The System, Coochie Monsters, Bengay Bandits

 

-The underrated: Frodo, DXYZ, Practice Squad, Powerpuff Girls, Pit Harade, SBG

 

-Breakfast Club Predictions:

-Steph Infection 30, Megoonsta’s 27

-D’s Nutz 33, Meagan It Happen 28

-Carly-fornia Dreaming 40, Missydemeanor 31

 

-Games of the Day: 

10:00 - Raw Milkers vs Select

11:00 - Coochie Monsters vs Flying Balls

12:00 - Balls Deep vs Skeleton Crew

1:00 - BQI vs The System

2:00 - Eyes Downtown vs Legends

3:00 - Cunning Stunts vs Mike’s Detailing

 

-Sticky Bandits are sitting at 3-0, Not So Sticky is at 3-0, it’s very clear that referees are favoring teams with Jeff Krol on them. Reminds me of the old Topper days. 

 

-Remaining undefeated teams: 8. Still not sure that anyone will finish the season that way. 

 

-The Powerpuff Girls are 1-3, but there’s no denying that they’re awesome. They need to stop losing by one point though. Get it together ladies. 

 

-D3 is weird and hard to get a handle on thanks to the various forfeits and Darryl-ing. Once we get another couple of weeks under our belts, maybe it’ll be easier to figure out. Probably not. 

 

-The System needs to win against BQI this week to save their season before it starts to spiral out of control. Confidence can be a wonderful thing. 

If you have something to say email me anytime at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. As you know I do not give out my phone as I live in a log cabin in Des Moines, Iowa and do not get cell service. 

 

-GF OUT.